TAK SOLAT, TAPI BERJAYA

Kita tahu bahawa ilmu itu cahaya, dan tidak akan memasuki hati-hati yang gelap, tetapi kita lihat, kawan kita yang berjudi, yang minum arak, boleh berjaya pula, sedangkan kita terkial-kial walaupun sudah berusaha. Kita tahu bahawa, siapa yang berbuat baik, taat kepada ALLAH akan dipermudahkan jalan kehidupannya, tetapi kita lihat, kawan kita ini tidak solat, tetapi bisnesnya menjadi, kita pula hidup dengan penuh cabaran dan duga. Kita juga tahu bahawa, ISLAM ini agama yang benar, tetapi kita sering melihat orang-orang yang bukan ISLAM itu lebih berjaya, dan ummat ISLAM tertindas dalam kehidupan sempit lagi derita.



Orang bertanya kepada saya. Kenapa begitu? Sekarang ini, yang manakah benar? Adakah kita faham selama ini tidak benar?



Maka saya hendak bertanya kepada anda.



Adakah anda tahu apa itu istidraj?



Istidraj ini adalah satu kalimah, yang sering menunjuk kepada keadaan seseorang itu yang terus dilimpahkan rezeki dan kejayaan yang melimpah ruah dalam kehidupannya, walaupun dia bukan hamba ALLAH yang taat, malah seorang pembuat maksiat yang tegar. Kenapa mereka ini dinamakan manusia yang mendapat istidraj? Apakakah maksud istidraj?

Istidraj adalah, apabila ALLAH memberikan kejayaan, harta kekayaan, rezeki yang melimpah ruah untuk manusia itu menjadi lebih jauh dariNya.



Biasanya, manusia yang mendapat istidraj ini adalah mereka yang tidak berusaha menjalankan ISLAM dalam kehidupan, juga tidak berusaha mengenali ALLAH SWT.



Contoh manusia yang mendapat istidraj ini banyak. Kita lihat contoh yang mudah. Qarun. Apakah anda kenal kepada Qarun? Dia ini adalah seorang manusiayang teramat kaya. Diriwayatkan bahawa, kotak yang mengisi kunci kepada gedung-gedung perbendaharaannya tidak mampu diangkat oleh orang-orang yang kuat. Hal ini hendak menyatakan betapa kayanya dia.



Kisah Qarun terdapat di dalam Al-Quran. Hartanya melimpah ruah. Segala perniagaannya menjadi. Segala pelaburannya mengembang. Hartanya makin hari makin bertambah, sedang yang bertambah semalam tidak pula luak digunakan.

Tetapi bila Nabi Musa cuba mengingatkannya berkenaan semua kekayaannya itu datang daripada ALLAH, maka Qarun dengan angkuh menjawab,



“ Tidak, semua ini adalah hasil dari ilmuku”



Lihat. Lihat apa kata Qarun. Tidak, semua ini adalah hasil dari… ILMUKU. Dia nyata semakin jauh dari ALLAH, walaupun kekayaannya menjadi, rezekinya melimpah ruah dan sebagainya. Dia saban waktu memperlekehkan pengikut-pengikut nabi Musa yang terdiri dari orang miskin dan hamba.



Apakah pengakhiran Qarun? Dia akhirnya ditenggelamkan ALLAH ke dalam bumi dengan seluruh hartanya. Kisah ini terdapat di dalam Al-Quran.



Nah… Apakah itu yang kita mahu?



Sebab itulah, saya hendak mengajak saudara-saudari berfikir, apakah yang akan timbul di dalam hati kalian apabila kalian ini jenis yang melazimi dosa-dosa, melakukan maksiat, kemudian kalian berjaya di dalam peperiksaan atau perniagaan. Apakah yang agaknya akan timbul dalam jiwa kalian?



Saya yakin, 99% akan merasa begini, “ Tengok, aku tak solat pun berjaya. Siapa kata solat tu bawa kejayaan?”

Apakah yang akan terjadi kepada anda ketika itu? Anda berjaya, tetapi anda semakin jauh dari ALLAH. Itulah istidraj.



Maka jangan gusar bila tidak berjaya. Cuba lagi. Hubungan keimanan anda dengan ALLAH itulah yang pertama sekali perlu anda perhatikan. Jika anda berjaya membina hubungan keimanan yang baik, insyaALLAH, datanglah badai apa sekalipun, anda akan mampu melaluinya.



Sebenarnya ALLAH suka menguji hamba-hambaNya yang beriman. Terdapat satu kisah yang saya suka baca ketika saya masih kecil.



Terdapat dua orang nelayan. Seorang penyembah berhala, dan seorang lagi muslim yang taat kepada ALLAH. Ketika menebar jala, yang menyembah berhala menyebut nama berhalanya, manakala yang muslim membaca bismillah. Bila jala diangkat, yang menyembah berhala mendapat banyak ikan, manakala yang muslim, hampir sahaja tiada ikan untuknya pada hari itu.



Malaikat yang melihat keadaan itu bertanya kepada ALLAH.



“ Ya ALLAH, apakah yang telah berlaku? HambaMu yang menyekutukanMu, KAU berikan dia rezeki yang banyak, sedangkan hambaMu yang menyebut namaMu, KAU tidak memberikan DIA apa-apa”

ALLAH menjawab,



“ Yang menyekutukanKu, tempatnya memang sudah pasti NERAKA. Maka apalah sangat rezeki yang pasti akan hancur itu jika Kuberikan kepadaNya? Tetapi HambaKu yang beriman itu, AKU hendak mengganjarkanNya syurga, maka AKU suka mengujinya untuk melihat kebenaran imanNya”



Nah, jangan anda kecewa bila diuji, tidak berjaya di dalam peperiksaan walau sudah studi, gagal dalam perniagaan walau kemas menyusun strategi. Itu semua adalah sebahagian dari ujian ALLAH. ALLAH menguji hanya untuk mereka yang dikasihi. Bukankah ALLAH SWT ada berfirman,



“ Apakah kamu mengira KAMI akan membiarkan kamu berkata kami beriman sedangkan kamu belum diuji?…”



Jika gagal terhadap satu-satu perkara, itu perkara itu. Anda masih belum gagal dalam kehidupan. Teruskan usaha, selagi nyawa masih ada. InsyaALLAH ALLAH akan memberikan sesuatu yang bermakna kepada anda. Bersangka baiklah kita kepada PENCIPTA kita.



Maka sebenarnya, bila hidup kita digegarkan dengan masalah, hendaklah kita rasa bersyukur. Tandanya, ALLAH masih lagi dekat dengan kita. Ujian adalah tanda kasih sayang dan perhatianNya kepada kita.

Mustahil anda suka senang sebentar di dunia, di akhirat yang kekal abadi nanti anda merana. Anda mahukan istidraj?



Saya yakin tidak..



Anda tenang sekarang?



Anda wajib untuk tidak berasa tenang jika anda berbuat dosa, dan anda berjaya. Sebab itulah, muhasabah diri itu penting. Untuk kita sentiasa periksa bagaimanakah hubungan kita dengan ALLAH SWT.



Aku berdosa, tetapi aku berjaya…. Berhati-hatilah kita agar jangan sampai lafaz itu, atau lafaz-lafaz yang membawa maksud serupa itu terkeluar dari mulut kita.



Mari kita sama-sama duduk, dan bermuhasabah semula.

Memo To All Staff!

Clear-Day MEMO TO ALL STAFF

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy in

the US since last Christmas,

Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of

age, on early retirement.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the

SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been

RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW scheme (Scheme Covering

Retired Early Workers).







A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as

Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for

Dependents of spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).





Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED

any further by management.

Persons staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity

Training) as possible.

Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives

employees.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the

attention of your Supervisor.

They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

The Management

Wahai Anak Muda, Berkahwinlah!

"Wahai anak muda, berkahwinlah. Sesiapa yang mampu, berkahwinlah kerana ia lebih memelihara mata dan menjaga faraj. Sesiapa yang tidak mampu untuk berkahwin hendaklah dia berpuasa kerana puasa adalah penahan (daripada gelojak nafsu)" (Hadith Rasulullah SAW yang diriwayatkan oleh Imam Al-Bukhari).Kahwin! Di usia 25 tahun kini, salah satu perkara yang masih terus mendilemma di dalam minda aqli diri ialah tentang perkahwinan. Bukan sekali dua persoalan ini diajukan kepada diri sama ada oleh ahli famili, sahabat handai dan rakan taulan, malah sudah menjadi persoalan lali. Ini ditambah dengan berita teman-teman seperjuangan yang semakin ramai mendirikan rumahtangga malah sudah ramai yang beranak-pinak!


Sebenarnya, segala keperluan untuk menunaikan tuntutan fitrah yang dijadikan oleh Allah SWT dan menyempurnakan Sunnah Rasulullah SAW yang satu ini sudah mencukupi. Persoalan bila dan dengan siapa biarlah rahsia buat masa ini. Apa yang pasti, jiwarasa semakin terpanggil dengan hadith berikut, sebuah sabdaan Baginda Rasulullah SAW yang kian membuka mata hati! Alhamdulillah.


Diriwayatkan oleh Abdullah Ibn Amru ra. bahawa baginda Rasulullah SAW pernah bersabda yang bermaksud : "Dunia ini ialah perhiasan dan sebaik-baik perhiasan dunia itu ialah wanita solehah". (Hadith ini adalah hadith sahih riwayat Muslim No. 1467 dan Nasaie, Ibn Majah dan Ibn Hibban serta lain-lain).

Wanita idaman lelaki

Wanita idaman lelaki ialah,

yang hatinya disalut taqwa kepada ALLAH,

yang jiwanya penuh penghayatan trhadap Islam,

yang sentiasa dahaga dengan ilmu,

yang sentiasa haus dengan pahala,yang solatnya maruah dirinya,

yang tidak pernah takut untuk berkata benar,

yang tidak pernah gentar melawan nafsu,



Wanita idaman lelaki ialah,

yang menjaga tutur katanya,

yang tidak bermegah dengan ilmu yang dimilikinya,

yang sentiasa berbuat kebajikan kerana sifatnya yang dermawan ,

yang mempunyai ramai teman,

dan tidak mempunyai musuh bersifat syaitan,



Wanita idaman lelaki ialah,

wanita yang menghormati ibunya,

yang sentiasa berbakti kepada kedua orang tuanya dan keluarga,

yang bakal menjaga kerukunan rumahtangga,

yang sabar mendidik suami dan anak-anak mendalami agama,

yang mengamalkan hidup penuh sederhana,

kerana dunia baginya adalah rumah sementara menuju akhirat,



Wanita idaman lelaki ialah,

yang sentiasa bersedia untuk menjadi insan yang hakiki,

yang hidup di bawah naungan Al-Quran dan sunnah nabi,

yang boleh diajak berbicara dan berdiskusi,

yang menjaga matanya dari pandangan duniawi,

yang sujudnya penuh kesyukuran dengan rahmat Ya Rabbi,



Wanita idaman lelaki ialah,

yang tidak pernah membazirkan waktu,

matanya kepenatan kerana penat menimba ilmu,

suaranya lesu kerana lidahnya tak henti memuji dan mengingatiMU,

tidurnya lena dengan cahaya keimanan,

bangunnya Subuh penuh penghayatan,

kerana sehari lagi usianya bertambah penuh keinsafan,



Wanita idaman lelaki ialah,

yang sentiasa mengingati mati,

yang baginya hidup di dunia adalah ladang akhirat,

yang mana buah kehidupan itu perlu dibaja dan dijaga,

agar berputik tunas yang bakal menjadi baka yang sempurna,

meneruskan perjuangan Islam sebelum tibanya Kiamat,



Wanita idaman lelaki ialah,

yang tidak terpesona dengan buaian dunia,

kerana dia mengimpikan syurga,

di situlah mahligai impiannya,

dialah WANITA IDAMAN LELAKI seadanya..

Alfatihah

[1]
Dengan nama Allah, Yang Maha Pemurah, lagi Maha Mengasihani.

[2]
Segala puji tertentu bagi Allah, Tuhan yang memelihara dan mentadbirkan sekalian alam.

[3]
Yang Maha Pemurah, lagi Maha Mengasihani.

[4]
Yang Menguasai pemerintahan hari Pembalasan (hari Akhirat).

[5]
Engkaulah sahaja (Ya Allah) Yang Kami sembah, dan kepada Engkaulah sahaja kami memohon pertolongan.

[6]
Tunjukilah kami jalan yang lurus.

[7]
Iaitu jalan orang-orang yang Engkau telah kurniakan nikmat kepada mereka, bukan (jalan) orang-orang yang Engkau telah murkai, dan bukan pula (jalan) orang-orang yang sesat.

maksud2 surah alhamdulillah

The Story of Life ~~ Learn a lesson in life each day that you live.

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.You never know who these people may be, your neighbor, your coworker, a long lost friend, or a complete stranger. When you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.



Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck.



Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved,straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.




The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become.Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.



If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.



Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen.Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.



You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

Learn a lesson in life each day that you live. That's the story of Life.

“Saya sudah menutup aurat!” kata seorang perempuan yang bertudung.

Beliau terlepas pandang, tudungnya memang bertudung tetapi solekan di bibir dan kelopak matanya sangat keterlaluan, di dalam tudungnya ada bonggol sanggul yang sengaja ditolak ke atas meninggikan kepala, kakinya memakai rantai berloceng, hingga setiap inci tubuhnya menarik perhatian untuk dilihat dan direnung, biar pun beliau itu bertudung.


Daripada Abu Hurairah radhiyallahu ‘anhu beliau meriwayatkan bahawa Rasulullah sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam telah bersabda :

Dua golongan yang termasuk dari kalangan ahli neraka yang tak pernah aku lihat iaitu yang pertama mereka yang memegang cemeti seperti ekor lembu (bentuk cemeti itu seperti ekor lembu yang berbulu-bulu dan berambut-rambut) dan mereka memukul manusia dengan cemeti tersebut. Yang kedua adalah perempuan memakai pakaian tetapi keadaanya umpama telanjang (ketat), dan perempuan ini berjalan sambil berlenggang lenggok dan sanggol rambutnya (ataupun sekarang ikatan rambutnya) umpama bonggol unta.Dan perempuan yang sebegini keadaanya tidak akan mencium bau syurga. Ketahuilah bau syurga sudah boleh diciumi dari jarak begini dan begini. [Hadith riwayat Muslim no. 2128]

penampar itu jawapannya

Ada seorang pemuda yang lama belajar di luar negeri kembali ke tanahair dengan angkuh dan sombong. Di dalam benak kepalanya telah lama tersimpan 3 pertanyaan yang dianggapnya tiada siapa yang boleh menjawab. Satu hari beliau bertemu seorang imam tua di kampungnya.



Pemuda: Pak imam apakah boleh menjawab pertanyaan-pertanyaan saya?

Pak Imam : Saya hamba Allah dan dengan izin-Nya saya akan menjawab pertanyaan kamu!



Pemuda: Pak imam yakin? Profesor dan banyak orang pintar yang saya tanya tidak mampu menjawab pertanyaan saya.



Pak Imam: Saya akan mencuba sejauh kemampuan saya, insya'Allah.



Pemuda: Saya ada 3 pertanyaan



1. Kalau benar Tuhan itu ada, tunjukan kewujudan Tuhan kepada saya?

2. Apakah yang dinamakan TAKDIR?

3. Kalau syaitan diciptakan dari api, kenapa mereka dimasukkan ke neraka yang dibuat dari api, tentu tidak menyakitkan buat syaitan, sebab mereka memiliki unsur yang sama. Apakah Tuhan tidak pernah berfikir sejauh itu? Dengan sepontan Pak Imam tersebut menampar pipi si Pemuda itu dengan amat kuat.



Pemuda (sambil menahan sakit) : Kenapa pak imam marah kepada saya?



Pak Imam : Saya tidak marah... Tamparan itu adalah jawapan saya untuk 3 pertanyaan yang awak tanyakan kepada saya.



Pemuda : Saya amat tidak faham...??



Pak Imam : Bagaimana rasanya tamparan saya?



Pemuda : Tentu saja saya merasakan sakit dan pedih...!!



Pak Imam : Jadi awak percaya bahawa sakit itu ada?



Pemuda : Ya....!



Pak Imam : Tunjukkan pada saya wujudnya sakit itu atau macam mana rupanya?



Pemuda : Tak boleh pak imam...!!!



Pak Imam : Itulah jawapan kepada pertanyaan pertama awak, kita semua merasakan kewujudan Tuhan itu tanpa mampu melihat kewujudanNya.



Pak Imam : Adakah malam tadi awak bermimpi atau telah tahu saya akan menampar awak?



Pemuda : Tidak....!!?



Pak Imam : Apakah awak pernah terfikir akan menerima sebuah tamparan dari saya hari ini?



Pemuda : Tidak....!!!?



Pak Imam : Itulah yang dinamakan TAKDIR!



Pak Imam : Terbuat dari apakah tangan yang saya gunakan untuk menampar awak ini?



Pemuda : Kulit dan daging...!!!



Pak Imam : Terbuat dari apakah pipi awak itu...?



Pemuda : Kulit dan daging....!!!??



Pak Imam : Bagaimana rasanya tamparan saya?



Pemuda : Sakit dan pedih....!!!?



Pak Imam : Itulah...! Walaupun Syaitan terbuat dari api dan Neraka terbuat dari api, Jika Tuhan berkehendak maka Neraka akan jadilah ia tempat yang menyakitkan untuk syaitan.... walaupun sama unsur asalnya...!!



Pemuda : Allahuakbar!



*Moral of the story… lain kali kalau ada yang tanya soalan lebih kurang sama dengan soalan pemuda tersebut…. tampar je… selesai masalah :)

Doa Pengantin Baru

Ya Allah ...

Ya Tuhan kami

Ampunilah dosa ku yang telah aku lakukan

Kau limpahkanlah aku dengan kesabaran yang tiada terbatas



Ya Allah...Ya Rahman Ya Rahim..

Sekiranya isteri ku ini adalah pilihan Mu di atas Arsy

Berilah aku kekuatan dan keyakinan untuk terus bersamanya

Kurniakanlah aku sifat kasih dan redha atas segala perbuatannya

Sekiranya isteri ku ini adalah bidadari untuk ku di Syurga Mu

Limpahkanlah aku dengan sifat kesabaran dan kelembutan untuk menghadapi dirinya

Peliharalah tingkah laku serta kata-kataku dari menyakiti perasaannya



Sekiranya... Isteri ku ini jodoh yang dirahmati oleh Mu

Maka berilah aku kesabaran untuk menghadapi segala tingkah lakunya



Ya Allah...Tuhan Yang Maha Mengetahui Segala Sesuatu..

Kau yang Maha Megetahui apa yang terbaik untukku

Kau juga yang Maha Mengampuni segala kekhilafan dan segala dosa yang sudah aku lakukan

Sekiranya aku tersilap membuat keputusan..

Bimbinglah aku ke jalan yang Engkau redhai

Sekiranya aku lalai dalam tanggungjawabku sebagai suami..

Kau hukumlah aku didunia tetapi bukan diakhirat Mu

Sekiranya aku ingkar dan durhaka berikanlah aku petunjuk kearah rahmat Mu



Ya Allah sesungguhnya aku lemah tanpa petunjukMu..

Aku buta tanpa bimbinganMu. .

Aku cacat tanpa hidayahMu..

Aku hina tanpa RahmatMu..



Ya Allah.. Ya Muqallibal Qulub

Kuatkan hati dan semangatku

Tabahkan aku menghadapi segala cubaanMu

Jadikanlah aku suami yang di sayangi isteri

Bukakanlah hatiku untuk menghayati agamaMu

Bimbinglah aku menjadi suami yang terbaik bagi dirinya

Hanya padaMu Ya Allah ku mohon segala harapan

Kerana aku pasrah dengan segala keputusanMu

Kerana aku sedar hinanya aku

Kerana aku insan lemah yang sering keliru

Kerana aku sering lupa dengan keindahan dunia ini

Kerana kurang kesabaran ku menghadapi ujia dariMu



Ya Allah .. Sesungguhnya diriku ini Hanyalah HambaMu yang Lemah dan Fakir

Limpahkan lah rumah tanggaku dengan penuh mawaddah

Jadikanlah rumah tanggaku sebagai rumah tangga yang sakinah

Aku memohon ampun kepadaMu Ya Allah , atas segala Dosa-dosa yang telah aku lakukan



Amin, amin Ya Rabbal Allamin



ne doa bagi pengantin baru

selamat pengantin baruu

CARA N MAKSUD DI SEBALIK SUNAT DHUHA

Ruang waktu dan waktu afdal

Sesuailah dengan namanya dhuha yang bermaksud pagi. Jadi ruang waktunya bermula kira-kira 20 minit selepas terbit matahari atau disebut dalam kitab-kitab fikah sebagai tinggi matahari daripada pandangan jauh sekadar satu al-Rumh atau batang lembing yakni kira-kira dua meter. Waktu solat ini pula berakhir sebelum menjelang waktu Zuhur. Jadi, secara mudahnya dapat difahami bahawa batas waktu solat sunat Dhuha ini antara pukul 7 pagi hingga 1 petang.

Berkenaan waktu afdalnya pula iaitu ketika sinar matahari kian panas berdasarkan sepotong hadis Nabi s.a.w. yang dirakamkan oleh Zaid bin Arqam. Rasulullah s.a.w. menjelaskan: “Solat Dhuha ini afdalnya ketika matahari telah meninggi dan kian panas sinarnya.” Imam Nawawi menghuraikan masa tersebut sebagai masa berlalunya seperempat tempoh siang hari iaitu pukul 10 pagi hingga 1 petang (Kitab al-Majmu’ karangan Imam Nawawi).

Justeru, waktu sedemikian eloklah dilaksanakan solat tersebut, apatah lagi pada saat itu badan memerlukan ‘rehat sebentar’ setelah penat bekerja. Maka disarankan juga sekiranya masa tersebut diisi sekadar empat hingga lima minit dengan sujud menyembah Ilahi sama ada di rumah atau di tempat kerja dengan syarat tidak mengetepikan perkara-perkara atau urusan yang wajib dan utama daripada yang sunat.



Cara melaksanakannya

Banyak bahan media cetak yang boleh dirujuk bagi mengetahui cara melakukan solat sunat Dhuha ini merangkumi bacaan-bacaan dalam solat hinggalah dalam sujud dan doa setelah selesai ibadat tersebut.

Cuma secara asas dan mudahnya berdasarkan hadis-hadis Nabi, solat sunat Dhuha ini dilakukan seperti solat-solat lain, cuma bacaan yang dianjurkan Baginda s.a.w. selepas al-Fatihah, menurut hadis yang disampaikan oleh Uqbah bin Amir, ialah surah al-Syams pada rakaat pertama dan al-Dhuha pada rakaat kedua. (Riwayat al-Hakim)

Namun begitu, perkara (bacaan dalam solat) ini adalah sesuatu yang subjektif dan tidak statik. Maka tidak perlulah hanya terikat dengan kaifiat tertentu dan bacaan tertentu. Apa yang penting, solat tersebut diniatkan dengan betul, syarat-syaratnya dipenuhi dan rukun-rukunnya disempurnakan sebaik-baiknya. Begitu jugalah dengan doa selepas solat tersebut.



Doa yang disarankan

“Ya Allah bahawasanya waktu duha itu waktu duhamu, kecantikan itu ialah kecantikanmu , keindahan itu keindahanmu, kekuatan itu kekuatanmu ,kekuasaan itu kekuasaanmu dan perlindungan itu perlindunganmu “. ” Ya Allah jika rezekiku masih di atas langit , turunkanlah dan jika ada di dalam bumi, keluarkanlah, jika sukar mudahkanlah, jika haram sucikanlah. ,Jika masih jauh dekatkanlah. Berkat waktu duha, keagungan, keindahan, kekuatan dan kekuasaanmu, limpahkanlah kepada kami segala yang telah engkau limpahkan kepada hamba-hambamu yang soleh”






* Coretanku





Kepada orang yang tidak menghafal surah-surah yang disarankan iaitu surah al-Syams pada rakaat pertama dan al-Dhuha pada rakaat kedua. Bacaan solat boleh dibaca apa-apa surah yang penting niat kita adalah IKHLAS untuk Allah SWT, bukan kerana berkehendakkan harta dan rezeki yang banyak tetapi salah satu cara untuk mendekatkan diri kepada Allah…



Kita rujuk kepada Hadith Qudsi yang mengatakan, Firman Allah, “ Wahai anak-anak adam (sebut-sebutkan) zikirkan akan AKU selepas sembahyang subuh barang sekejap dan selepas sembahyang asar barang sekejap, maka AKU cukupkan engkau apa yang ada diantara dua waktu tersebut maka apabila naik matahari sembahyang dhuha sebanyak lapan rakaat”



Pada rakaat pertama bacalah ayatul kursi kerana ayutul kursi terlalu banyak keistimewaannya, semasa suruh itu diturunkan beribu-ribu malaikat sebagai perantaranya. Didalamnya juga terkandung KURSI (kerajaan) ALLAH yang sangat besar meliputi 7 lapisan langit dan bumi. Ada 95 buah hadish yang menerangkan akan fadhilat ayutul kursi.



Rakaat kedua bacalah surah Al-Ikhlas sebab surah Al-Ikhlas merupakan 1/3 dari Al-Quran. Surah yang cukup besar maknanya sebab mengandungi sifat-sifat Allah yang Esa dan siapa Allah yang sebenar iaitu yang tidak beranak juga tidak diperanakkan dan tidak ada yang serupa denganNYA. Dua surah ini sudah cukup bagi yang tidak menghafal surah yang disarankan.



Berkenaan doa… boleh baca doa mana-mana yang berkaitan tetapi lebih afdal baca doa solat dhuha yang khusus… doa itu sememangnya cukup baik dan sempurna untuk memohon keberkatan rezeki dari ilahi… Manakala bilangan rakaat pula adalah mengikut kemampuan. Bila masa terhad dengan kerja seharian boleh dilakukan dengan 2 rakaat dan bila waktu cuti lakukanlah dua-dua rakaat sehingga 4, 6 atau 8 rakaat dan boleh sehingga 12 rakaat. semua mengikut kemampuan… Amal yang sedikit dan istiqamah (berterusan) adalah lebih baik dari amal yang banyak tetapi jarang-jarang… fikir-fikirkan… semoga dengan membudayakan solat dhuha, kita akan lebih disayangi oleh Allah SWT dan sentiasa didalam naunganNYA.. ameennn…

Hari kekasih - laluan kemungkaran

Menjelang bulan Februari, pasti ramai anak-anak muda yang sedang hangat dilamun cinta tidak sabar untuk meraikan ketibaan Hari Kekasih atau Hari Valentine yang jatuh pada tanggal 14 Februari. Bahangnya makin terasa.Kita boleh lihat banyak iklan, promosi dan tawaran hebat diadakan bagi memeriahkan lagi sambutan Hari Kekasih. Bukan itu sahaja, lebih menarik lagi, pelbagai filem berunsur romance dihidangkan sepanjang bulan kekasih ini buat santapan si pencinta bagi menghangatkan lagi suasana bersama pasangan masing-masing.

Namun begitu, dalam sedar atau tidak, kita boleh lihat bukan sahaja masyarakat bukan Islam yang menyambut Hari Kekasih, malah umat Islam juga turut sama meraikan perayaan tersebut walaupun hari yang diraikan tidak terdapat dalam ajaran Islam.

Melihat pada fenomena ini, sambutan Hari Kekasih semakin mendapat sambutan dalam kalangan umat Islam khususnya golongan remaja. Lebih menyedihkan lagi, terdapat segelintir daripada mereka yang bertindak di luar batasan sehingga menimbulkan masalah sosial dalam masyarakat. Berlakunya perbuatan-perbuatan tidak bermoral seperti zina, minum arak, menghidu gam, menghisap ganja dan dadah secara tidak langsung mencerminkan keperibadian yang bobrok dalam kalangan remaja dan memberi gambaran negatif terhadap golongan remaja, dari segi agama dan negara, keluarga dan generasi yang akan datang.



Tindakan Penyelesaian

Bagi membina kekuatan dalaman remaja Islam hari ini serta menghindarkan mereka daripada terus menerus terjebak dalam unsur kurang sihat seperti hari kekasih adalah dengan mengukuhkan keilmuan dan keimanan. Penjelasan berkenaan larangan menyambut hari kekasih perlulah diwar-warkan kepada seluruh umat Islam khususnya remaja agar mereka faham apa sebenarnya erti disebalik hari kekasih atau Hari Valentine.

Para emaja hendaklah didedahkan dengan ajaran-ajaran agama supaya pegangan iman mereka sentiasa teguh dan tidak mudah goyah dengan gangguan manusia dan syaitan.

Keinginan remaja untuk mencuba sesuatu yang baru sememangnya tidak boleh dielakkan. Dan tidak dinafikan juga bahawa remaja juga mudah memberontak. Mereka masih muda dan tidak tahu arah tujuan sebenar hidup di alam sementara ini. Apa yang dikejar hanyalah keseronokan. Dan penulis tidak terkejut jika terdapat antara mereka yang memberikan pelbagai alasan demi membenarkan mereka menyambut perayaan ini.

Antara alasan yang lazim didengari dari remaja sekarang ialah menyambut Hari Kekasih secara tidak berlebihan, menyambutnya dengan hanya menghantar kiriman khidmat pesanan ringkas atau menghadiahkan sekuntum bunga sebagai tanda cinta. Tetapi, mengapa ia tidak dilakukan pada hari-hari biasa?

Selain itu, bukan besar atau kecil hadiah yang menjadi persoalan. Pokok pangkalnya adalah niat. Menurut sumber sejarah, Valentine Day ini telah menjadi acara keagamaan buat penganut Kristian. Apakah kita sebagai umat Islam ingin tergolong dalam golongan penganut kristian?

Di dalam surah Ali Imram ayat 31 telah menyebut "Katakanlah (Wahai Muhammad jika benar kamu mengasihi Allah maka ikutilah aku, nescaya Allah mengasihi kamu serta mengampunkan dosa-dosa kamu. Dan (ingatlah), Allah Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Mengetahui."

Ayat di atas bermaksud setiap kasih dan sayang yang ditetapkan oleh Islam tidak seharusnya disalahgunakan bagi memenuhi kehendak peribadi sesuatu pihak. Ia perlulah digunakan dalam suasana yang tidak bertentangan dengan syariat Islam dan boleh diterima pakai oleh masyarakat umum.

Oleh sebab itu, pengetahuan merupakan perkara yang penting dalam hidup supaya kita tidak mudah ditipu dan dipengaruhi oleh anasir-anasir luar yang boleh membinasakan diri kita. Jika ceteknya pengetahuan, maka benteng keimanan seseorang Muslim itu mudah rapuh sekali gus akan hilanglah jati diri dalam kalangan remaja Muslim.



Peranan Pihak Terlibat

Pergaulan yang mesra dan lemah lembut sesama ahli keluarga merupakan faktor yang boleh menyemai semangat kekeluargaan. Lakukanlah aktiviti secara bersama, Insya-Allah anak-anak muda ini pasti memahami bahawa kasih dan sayang bukanlah terletak kepada motif pemberian sahaja, malah lebih kepada mengekalkan hubungan baik serta dapat sama-sama menuju ke jalan yang diredhai.

Selain itu, pihak media juga hendaklah memainkan peranan yang penting dalam membetulkan semula fahaman remaja tentang hari kekasih. Ini kerana, media merupakan satu medium penyebar infomasi yang paling berpengaruhi oleh segenap lapisan penduduk.

Oleh itu, kesemua pihak yang terlibat hendaklah memainkan peranan yang penting dalam mendidik anak-anak mereka agar tidak menyambut Valentine Day. Tambahan itu, isikanlah hati mereka dengan ilmu-ilmu akidah dan akhlak supaya mereka dapat menjaga benteng keimanan dari menjatuhkan maruah mereka sebagai remaja Muslim.

Sifat 20

Sifat-sifat Allah yang wajib diketahui oleh orang-orang Islam yang terkandung di dalam al-Quran berjumlah 20 sifat. Termasuk juga sifat-sifat Mustahil yang wajib diketahui.



BIL : 1

SIFAT WAJIB : WUJUD

MAKNA : Ada

SIFAT MUSTAHIL : Allah Taala itu ada. Mustahil Allah itu tiada.



BIL : 2

SIFAT WAJIB :QIDAM

MAKNA : Sedia

SIFAT MUSTAHIL : Allah itu sedia ada. Mustahil didahului oleh Adam (tiada)



BIL : 3

SIFAT WAJIB : BAQA

MAKNA : Kekal

SIFAT MUSTAHIL : Allah itu bersifat kekal. Mustahil ia dikatakan fana (binasa)



BIL : 4

SIFAT WAJIB : MUKHALAFATUHU LILHAWADIS

MAKNA : Tidak sama dengan yang baharu

SIFAT MUSTAHIL : Allah itu tidak mempunyai sifat-sifat yang baharu yakni dijadikan dan dihancurkan. Mustahil bersamaan dengan yang baharu.



BIL : 5

SIFAT WAJIB : QIYAMUHUU BINAFSIH

MAKNA : Berdiri dengan dirinya sendiri

SIFAT MUSTAHIL : Allah Taala itu bersendiri. Mustahil tidak berdiri dengan dirinya sendiri atau berdiri pada lainnya.



BIL : 6

SIFAT WAJIB : WAHADAANIYAT

MAKNA : Esa

SIFAT MUSTAHIL : Allah itu Maha Esa Dzat-Nya, Esa sifat-Nya dan esa juga perangai-Nya. Mustahil ia mempunyai Dzat, sifat dan perangai yang berbilang-bilang.



BIL : 7

SIFAT WAJIB : QUDRAT

MAKNA : Kuasa

SIFAT MUSTAHIL : Alah Taala itu Maha Berkuasa. Mustahil Allah itu lemah atau tidak berkuasa.



BIL : 8

SIFAT WAJIB : IRADAT

MAKNA : Menentukan

SIFAT MUSTAHIL : Allah itu Menentukan segala-galanya. Mustahil Allah Taala itu terpaksa dan dipaksa.



BIL : 9

SIFAT WAJIB : ILMU

MAKNA : Mengetahui

SIFAT MUSTAHIL : Allah Taala itu amat mengetahui segala-galanya. Mustahil Allah tidak mengetahui.



BIL : 10

SIFAT WAJIB : HAYAT

MAKNA : Hidup

SIFAT MUSTAHIL : Allah Taala itu sentiasa hidup yakni sentiasa ada. Mustahil Allah Taala itu tiada atau mati.



BIL : 11

SIFAT WAJIB : SAMA

MAKNA : Mendengar

SIFAT MUSTAHIL : Allah Taala itu tidak tuli (pekak). Mustahil Allah tuli atau tidak mendengar.



BIL : 12

SIFAT WAJIB : BASAR

MAKNA : Melihat

SIFAT MUSTAHIL : Allah Taala itu sentiasa melihat. Mustahil Allah Taala itu buta.



BIL : 13

SIFAT WAJIB : KALAM

MAKNA : Berkata-kata

SIFAT MUSTAHIL : Allah Taala itu berkata-kata. Mustahil Allah Taala itu tidak bercakap atau bisu.



BIL : 14

SIFAT WAJIB : QOODIRUN

MAKNA : Maha Kuasa

SIFAT MUSTAHIL : Allah Taala itu amat berkuasa sifatnya. Mustahil bagi Allah memiliki sifat lemah atau tidak berkuasa.



BIL : 15

SIFAT WAJIB : MURIIDUN

MAKNA : Menentukan

SIFAT MUSTAHIL : Allah Taala itu berkuasa menentukan apa yang dikehendakinya. Mustahil sifatnya terpaksa atau dipaksa.



BIL : 16

SIFAT WAJIB : AALIMUN

MAKNA : Maha Mengetahui

SIFAT MUSTAHIL : Allah Taala itu maha mengetahui. Mustahil Allah Taala itu jahil atau tidak mengetahui.



BIL : 17

SIFAT WAJIB : HAYUUN

MAKNA : Hidup

SIFAT MUSTAHIL : Allah Taala itu Maha Hidup dan menghidupkan alam ini. Mustahil pula Allah itu mati.



BIL : 18

SIFAT WAJIB : SAMI'UN

MAKNA : Mendengar

SIFAT MUSTAHIL : Allah Taala itu maha mendengar. Mustahil jika Allah Taala tidak mendengar atau tuli.



BIL : 19

SIFAT WAJIB : BASIIRUN

MAKNA : Melihat

SIFAT MUSTAHIL : Allah Taala itu melihat semua kejadian di muka bumi. Mustahil jika sifat Allah itu tidak melihat atau buta.



BIL : 20

SIFAT WAJIB : MUTAKALLIMUN

MAKNA : Maha Berkata-kata

SIFAT MUSTAHIL : Allah Taala itu berkata-kata. Mustahil jika Allah Taala bisu atau tidak boleh berkata-kata.

Psychopath Test



Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. No one I know has got it right. Few people do.



A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing. She believed him to be her dream guy so much that she fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister.



Question: What is her motive for killing her sister?



[Give this some thought before you answer, see answer below]







Answer:



She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral again.



If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to determine if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly. If you didn’t answer the question correctly, good for you.

If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off my freind list..!!

Bersyukur Sbb Tak Cantik

Kerana saya tidak cantik..

saya tidak jadi mangsa gangguan lelaki-lelaki yang rosak akhlaknya.


Kerana saya tidak cantik..

saya dapat pelihara diri saya daripada pandangan bernafsu lelaki yang tidak menjaga pandangannya.


Kerana saya tidak cantik..

saya selamat daripada menjadi senjata iblis mencairkan iman lelaki.


Kerana saya tidak cantik..

saya tidak mendapat fitnah dan cemburu daripada wanita-wanita lain.


Kerana saya tidak cantik..

saya tidak mengharapkan pujian daripada mana-mana lelaki dan wanita, dan kerana saya tak cantik, akhirnya saya menemui insan yang mencintai saya seadanya.


Paling penting, kerana saya tak cantik..

saya sentiasa mencuba untuk menjadi cantik pada pandanganNya. Cantik pada pandangan manusia bukanlah apa-apa.

10 Kekuatan

Besi itu kuat, tetapi api dapat mencairkannya

Api itu kuat, tetapi air dapat memadamkannya

Air itu kuat, tetapi matahari dapat mengalahkannya

Matahari itu kuat, tetapi awan dapat menghalanginya

Awan itu kuat, tetapi angin mampu memindahkannya

Angin itu kuat, tetapi manusia mampu menahannya

(supaya tidak masuk angin maksudnya)

Manusia itu kuat, tetapi ketakutan dapat melemahkannya

Ketakutan itu kuat, tetapi tidur dapat mengatasinya

Tidur itu kuat, tetapi mati ternyata lebih kuat



Terkuat adalah kebaikan,

ia tak kan hilang setelah mati.

Funny Thoughts To Ponder

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hotdogs?

At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?

What is Satan's last name?

Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Where does the toetag go on a dead person if they don't have toes?

If your driving a federal owned car, and you run a stop sign, is it considered a felony?

Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commericals that says "Not available in all states"?

If you dug a hole through the center of the earth,and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?

If a person dies and then springs back to life, do they get their money back for the coffin?

If you are asked to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and your the main witness, what if you say "no"?

Do they bury people with their braces on?

How far east can you go before you're heading west?

How does a Real Estate company sell its office without causing confusion?

Do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves?

If, in a baseball game, the batter hits a ball splitting it right down the center with half the ball flying out of the park and the other half being caught, what is the final ruling?

If you were to get drunk in a country where the drinking limit is under 21, and went to the states and were still over the limit, could they arrest you for underage drinking even though you did not do the drinking in the states.

Why do people think that swaying their arm back and forth would change the direction of a bowling ball?

If girls with large breasts work at Hooters, then do girls with one leg work at IHOP?

Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?

If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress?

Why does grape flavor smell the way it is when actual grapes don't taste or smell anything like it.

If a lesbian has sex with other women but never with another man is she still considered a virgin?

If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

Is it rude for a deaf person to talk (sign) with their mouth full of food?

If its 11:30 PM Dec 31 in Texas and 12:30 AM Jan 1st in New York and you have a New York driver's license that expires Jan 2007, does that mean your license has expired?

What's the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup?

If a transvesite goes missing, would youu put their face on a carton of Half and Half?

Why is the Lone Ranger called 'Lone' if he always has his Indian friend Tonto with him?

When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?

Are eyebrows considered facial hair?

If a baby's leg pops out at 11:59PM but his head doesn't come out until 12:01, which day was he born on?

In the song Yankee Doodle, is he calling the horse or the feather "macaroni"?

Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?

Can you daydream at night?

Why is it that on a phone or calculator the number five has a little dot on it?

Can crop circles be square?

If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through the floor?

Is it legal to travel down a road in reverse, as long as your following the direction of the traffic?

When Atheists go to court, do they have to swear on the bible?

Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?

Can animals commit suicide?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

If a doctor suddenly had a heart attack while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?

How can something be "new" and "improved"? if it's new, what was it improving on?

Why aren't drapes double sided so it looks nice on the inside and outside of your home?

When two people marry, they say, "you may kiss the bride". What do they say if two MEN get married?

Why is it that when we "skate on thin ice", we can "get in hot water"?

Why do people say beans beans the magical fruit when beans are vegetables?

If laughter is the best medicine, who's the idiot who said they 'died laughing'?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Why are the little styrofoam pieces called peanuts?

Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.

Do siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts?

Why are they called 'Jolly Ranchers'? Who said that the ranchers were jolly?

Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?

Can a short person "talk down" to a taller person?

If a bald person works as a chef at a restaurant, do they have to wear a hairnet?

If milk goes bad if not refrigerated, does it go bad if the cow isnt refrigerated?

How fast do hotcakes sell?

Do prison buses have emergency exits?

Do astronauts change their clocks when they move over different time zones in space?

Can a black person join the kkk?

When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?

When there's two men who "get married", do they both go to the same bachelor party?

If a guy that was about to die in the electric chair had a heart attack should they save him?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?

If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?

Why is it that before 9/11 they always showed the emergency broadcast system test, and on 9/11 they never used it?

If a nursing mother had her nipples pierced would the milk come out of all three holes?

Who was Sadie Hawkins?

If a stripper gets breast implants can she write it off on her taxes as a business expense?

Why do we sing "Rock a bye baby" to lull a baby to sleep when the song is about putting your baby in a tree and letting the wind crash the cradle on the ground?

If parents say, "Never take candy from strangers" then why do we celebrate Halloween?

Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

What does PU stand for (as in "PU, that stinks!")?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

Can cannibals be arrested for being under the influence of alcohol (e.g. drunk-driving) if they have eaten someone who was drunk?

What is the stage of a reptile when it has eggs in it but they haven't been laid. Are they pregnant?

If Mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?

If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?

Why is it called a funny bone, when if you hit it, it's not funny at all?

Do you yawn in your sleep?

Why do dogs like the smell of other dogs butts?

If a cannible was on death row could he ask for the last guy that was electricuted for his last meal?

Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies?

Do glow-in-the-dark objects stop glowing when somebody turns the lights on?

If you died with braces on would they take them off?

If someone has their nose pierced, have a cold, and take thier nose ring out. Does snot come out of the piercing hole?

How come lemon washing up liquid contains real lemons, but lemon juice contains artificial flavorings.

Do you wake up or open your eyes first?

Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?

How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?

In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?

Why can't donuts be square?

Why put a towel in the dirty clothes basket if when you get out of the shower you are clean?

What happens to an irrisitable force when it hits an immovable object?

If there's a speed of sound and a speed of light is there a speed of smell?

Why do overalls have bel loops, since they are held up at the top by the straps?

Do people in prison celebrate halloween.... if so how?

Do the security guards at airports have to go through airport security when they get to work?

Why are all of the Harry Potter spells in Latin if they're English?

What do Greeks say when they don't understand something?

What happens if a queen gives birth to a pair of siamese twins? Who gets to be king?

Do all-boys schools have girls bathrooms? Conversely, do all-girls schools have boys bathrooms?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

How come cats butts go up when you pet them?

What would happen to the sea's water level if every boat in the World was taken out of the water at the same time?

How come you never see a billboard being put up by the highway?

Do the English people eat English muffins, or are they just called muffins?

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Why does Jello have a smell when you add the powder in the water, but when it "gels" the smell is gone?

Why are dogs noses always wet?

If a bee is allergic to pollen would it get the hives?

Why do people say "heads up" when you should duck?

Why is it OK for dudes to slap other dudes' asses in football, but not in any other situation?

Why does triangularly cut bread taste better than square bread?

If one man says, "it was an uphill battle," and another says, "it went downhill from there," how could they both be having troubles?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

At what point in man's evolution did he start wiping his ass?

Do bald people get Dandruff?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Why do superheros wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes?

If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Can you cry under water?

Why Does Pluto Live in a dog house, eat dog food, etc. but Goofy, who is also a dog, lives in a condo and drives a car?

If you blew a bubble in space would it pop?

Are children who use sign language allowed to talk with their mouth full?

How come all of the planets are spherical?

How did the first women ever to shave their legs know that the skin wouldn't just peel right off?

when a pregnant lady has twins, is there 1 or 2 umbilical cords?

Why doesn't Winnie the Pooh ever get stung by the bees he messes with?

Why do they put holes in crackers?

Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?

What do people in China call their good plates?

How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?

Why don't woodpeckers get headaches when they slam their head on a tree all day?

If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?

If an escalotor breaks down, does it become stairs?

Why do they call him Donkey Kong if he is not a donkey?

Why do they say a football team is the 'world champion' when they don't play anybody outside the US?

Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?

If you put a chameleon in a room full of mirrors, what color would it turn?

What are the handles for corn on the cob called?

Why do British people never sound British when they sing?

Why do we press the start button to turn off the computer?

Do your eyes change color when you die?

Were Mary and Joseph's surname Christ before Jesus was born?

If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?

Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?

In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?

How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?

If K.F.C Stands for Kentucky Fried Chicken, Why do they play sweet home Alabama on the comercials?

If people with one arm go to get their nails done, do they pay half price?

What type of animal is Snuffaluffagus?

If you had a three story house and were in the second floor, isn't it possible that you can be upstairs and downstairs at the same time?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If a king is gay and marries another guy what is that guy to the royal family?

Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

Does a 'Marks-A-Lot' marker, mark any more than a regular marker?

If you really could dig a hole to China, and you did, and you fell in, would you stop in the middle because of gravity?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?

What happens when you put a lightsaber in water?

On Gilligan's Island, how did Ginger have so many different outfits when they were only going on a 3 hour tour?

If I had my legs amputated, would I have to change my height and weight on my driver's license?

If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Do movie producers still say lights, camera, and action when it is a dark scene?

What do you call male ballerinas?

How does Freddy Kruger wipe his butt?

Why people are so scared of mice,which are much smaller than us, when no one seems to be scared of Micky Mouse, who is bigger than us?

Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?

Why are plastic bears the only animal you can get honey from? Why can't you get honey from a plastic bee?

Can bald men get lice?

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?

Do butterflies remember life as a caterpillar?

If you undergo chemotherapy do you lose your pubic hairs?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Does the postman deliver his own mail?

Why does toilet bowl cleaner only come in the color blue?

What happens when you put hand sanitizer on a place other then your hand?

Why are women and men's shoe sizes different?

Can you "stare off into space" when you're in space?

Where do people in Hell tell other people to go?

Is "vice-versa" to a dyslexic just plain redundant?

How come you can kill a deer and put it up on your wall. but it's illegal to keep one as a pet?

Why do we say we're head over heels when we're happy? Isn't that the way we normally are?

If prunes are dehydrated plums, where does prune juice come from?

Is it appropriate to say "good mourning" at a funeral?

If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?

When you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?

Was Jesus a virgin when he died?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Doesn't a lightning rod on top of church show a lack of faith?

Who coined the phrase, 'coined the phrase?'

If there were a thousand seaguls in an airplane while its flying, each weighing two pounds a piece, but they were all flying in the airplane, would the airplane weigh 2000 pounds more?

If you soak a raisin in water, does it turn back into a grape?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do they call steam rollers, steam rollers? They don't produce, get rid of, or have anythong to do with steam

What is another word for "thesaurus"?

How to Write a PhD Thesis

Getting Started

When you are about to begin, writing a thesis seems a long, difficult task. That is because it is a long, difficult task. Fortunately, it will seem less daunting once you have a couple of chapters done. Towards the end, you will even find yourself enjoying it---an enjoyment based on satisfaction in the achievement, pleasure in the improvement in your technical writing, and of course the approaching end. Like many tasks, thesis writing usually seems worst before you begin, so let us look at how you should make a start.



An outline

First make up a thesis outline: several pages containing chapter headings, sub-headings, some figure titles (to indicate which results go where) and perhaps some other notes and comments. There is a section on chapter order and thesis structure at the end of this text. Once you have a list of chapters and, under each chapter heading, a reasonably complete list of things to be reported or explained, you have struck a great blow against writer's block. When you sit down to type, your aim is no longer a thesis---a daunting goal---but something simpler. Your new aim is just to write a paragraph or section about one of your subheadings. It helps to start with an easy one: this gets you into the habit of writing and gives you self-confidence. In an experimental thesis, the Materials and Methods chapter is often the easiest to write – just write down what you did; carefully, formally and in a logical order.

How do you make an outline of a chapter? For most of them, you might try the method that I use for writing papers, and which I learned from my thesis adviser (Stjepan Marcelja): Assemble all the figures that you will use in it and put them in the order that you would use if you were going to explain to someone what they all meant. You might as well rehearse explaining it to someone else---after all you will probably give several talks based on your thesis work. Once you have found the most logical order, note down the key words of your explanation. These key words provide a skeleton for much of your chapter outline.

Once you have an outline, discuss it with your adviser. This step is important: s/he will have useful suggestions, but it also serves notice that s/he can expect a steady flow of chapter drafts that will make high priority demands on his/her time. Once you and your adviser have agreed on a logical structure, s/he will need a copy of this outline for reference when reading the chapters which you will probably present out of order. If you have a co-adviser, discuss the outline with him/her as well, and present all chapters to both advisers for comments.



Organisation

It is encouraging and helpful to start a filing system. Open a word-processor file for each chapter and one for the references. You can put notes in these files, as well as text. While doing something for Chapter n, you will think "Oh I must refer back to/discuss this in Chapter m" and so you put a note to do so in the file for Chapter m. Or you may think of something interesting or relevant for that chapter. When you come to work on Chapter m, the more such notes you have accumulated, the easier it will be to write.

Make a back-up of these files and do so every day at least (depending on the reliability of your computer and the age of your disk drive). Do not keep back-up close to the computer in case the hypothetical thief who fancies your computer decides that s/he could use some disks or membory as well.

A simple way of making a remote back-up is to send it as an email attachment to a consenting email correspondent, preferably one in a different location. You could also send it to yourself. In either case, be careful to dispose of superseded versions so that you don't waste disk space, especially if you have bitmap images or other large files.

You should also have a physical filing system: a collection of folders with chapter numbers on them. This will make you feel good about getting started and also help clean up your desk. Your files will contain not just the plots of results and pages of calculations, but all sorts of old notes, references, calibration curves, suppliers' addresses, specifications, speculations, letters from colleagues etc., which will suddenly strike you as relevant to one chapter or other. Stick them in that folder. Then put all the folders in a box or a filing cabinet. As you write bits and pieces of text, place the hard copy, the figures etc in these folders as well. Touch them and feel their thickness from time to time – ah, the thesis is taking shape.

If any of your data exist only on paper, copy them and keep the copy in a different location. Consider making a copy of your lab book. This has another purpose beyond security: usually the lab book stays in the lab, but you may want a copy for your own future use. Further, scientific ethics require you to keep lab books and original data for at least ten years, and a copy is more likely to be found if two copies exist.

If you haven't already done so, you should archive your electronic data, in an appropriate format. Spreadsheet and word processor files are not suitable for long term storage. Archiving data by Joseph Slater is a good guide.

While you are getting organised, you should deal with any university paperwork. Examiners have to be nominated and they have to agree to serve. Various forms are required by your department and by the university administration. Make sure that the rate limiting step is your production of the thesis, and not some minor bureaucratic problem.



A note about word processors

One of the big FAQs for scientists: is there a word processor, ideally one compatible with MS Word, but which allows you to type mathematical symbols and equations conveniently? One solution is LaTeX, which is powerful, elegant, reliable, fast and free from http://www.latex-project.org/ or http://www.miktex.org/. As far as I know, the only current equation editor for MS Word is slow and awkward. (If anyone knows a way of writing equations in this software without using the mouse, many people including this author would like to hear from you!) Another solution is to use old versions of commercial software. Word 5.1 allows equations to be typed comfortably: it is faster in this respect than LaTeX, with the added advantage of 'what you see is what you get' (WYSIWYG). (If anyone knows how to run Word 5.1 on OSX, please let me know!) A search will find sites that provide discontinued software, but, not knowing whether this is legal or not, I shan't link to them. (I am told that LyX, available free at http://www.lyx.org/, is a convenient front-end to LaTeX that has WYSIWYG. )

Commercial word processors have gradually become bigger, slower, less reliable and more awkward to use as they acquire more features. This is a general feature of commercial software and an important input to the computing industry. If software and operating system performance did not deteriorate, people would not need to buy new computers and profits would fall for makers of both hard- and soft-ware. Software vendors want it to look fancy and obvious in the demo, and they don't really care about its ease, speed and reliability to an expert user because the expert user has already bought it. In our example, it is much faster to type equations and to do formatting with embedded commands because you use your fingers independently rather than your hand and because your fingers don't leave the keyboard. However, click-on menus, although they are slow and cumbersome when typing, look easy to use in the shop.



A timetable

I strongly recommend sitting down with the adviser and making up a timetable for writing it: a list of dates for when you will give the first and second drafts of each chapter to your adviser(s). This structures your time and provides intermediate targets. If you merely aim "to have the whole thing done by [some distant date]", you can deceive yourself and procrastinate more easily. If you have told your adviser that you will deliver a first draft of chapter 3 on Wednesday, it focuses your attention.

You may want to make your timetable into a chart with items that you can check off as you have finished them. This is particularly useful towards the end of the thesis when you find there will be quite a few loose ends here and there.



Iterative solution

Whenever you sit down to write, it is very important to write something. So write something, even if it is just a set of notes or a few paragraphs of text that you would never show to anyone else. It would be nice if clear, precise prose leapt easily from the keyboard, but it usually does not. Most of us find it easier, however, to improve something that is already written than to produce text from nothing. So put down a draft (as rough as you like) for your own purposes, then clean it up for your adviser to read. Word-processors are wonderful in this regard: in the first draft you do not have to start at the beginning, you can leave gaps, you can put in little notes to yourself, and then you can clean it all up later.

Your adviser will expect to read each chapter in draft form. S/he will then return it to you with suggestions and comments. Do not be upset if a chapter---especially the first one you write--- returns covered in red ink (or its electronic equivalent). Your adviser will want your thesis to be as good as possible, because his/her reputation as well as yours is affected. Scientific writing is a difficult art, and it takes a while to learn. As a consequence, there will be many ways in which your first draft can be improved. So take a positive attitude to all the scribbles with which your adviser decorates your text: each comment tells you a way in which you can make your thesis better.

As you write your thesis, your scientific writing is almost certain to improve. Even for native speakers of English who write very well in other styles, one notices an enormous improvement in the first drafts from the first to the last chapter written. The process of writing the thesis is like a course in scientific writing, and in that sense each chapter is like an assignment in which you are taught, but not assessed. Remember, only the final draft is assessed: the more comments your adviser adds to first or second draft, the better.

Before you submit a draft to your adviser, run a spell check so that s/he does not waste time on those. If you have any characteristic grammatical failings, check for them.



What is a thesis? For whom is it written? How should it be written?

Your thesis is a research report. The report concerns a problem or series of problems in your area of research and it should describe what was known about it previously, what you did towards solving it, what you think your results mean, and where or how further progress in the field can be made. Do not carry over your ideas from undergraduate assessment: a thesis is not an answer to an assignment question. One important difference is this: the reader of an assignment is usually the one who has set it. S/he already knows the answer (or one of the answers), not to mention the background, the literature, the assumptions and theories and the strengths and weaknesses of them. The readers of a thesis do not know what the "answer" is. If the thesis is for a PhD, the university requires that it make an original contribution to human knowledge: your research must discover something hitherto unknown.

Obviously your examiners will read the thesis. They will be experts in the general field of your thesis but, on the exact topic of your thesis, you are the world expert. Keep this in mind: you should write to make the topic clear to a reader who has not spent most of the last three years thinking about it.

Your thesis will also be used as a scientific report and consulted by future workers in your laboratory who will want to know, in detail, what you did. Theses are occasionally consulted by people from other institutions, and the library sends microfilm versions if requested (yes, still). More commonly theses are now stored in an entirely digital form. These may be stored as .pdf files on a server at your university. The advantage is that your thesis can be consulted much more easily by researchers around the world. (See e.g. Australian digital thesis project for the digital availability of research theses.) Write with these possibilities in mind.

It is often helpful to have someone other than your adviser(s) read some sections of the thesis, particularly the introduction and conclusion chapters. It may also be appropriate to ask other members of staff to read some sections of the thesis which they may find relevant or of interest, as they may be able to make valuable contributions. In either case, only give them revised versions, so that they do not waste time correcting your grammar, spelling, poor construction or presentation.



How much detail?

The short answer is: rather more than for a scientific paper. Once your thesis has been assessed and your friends have read the first three pages, the only further readers are likely to be people who are seriously doing research in just that area. For example, a future research student might be pursuing the same research and be interested to find out exactly what you did. ("Why doesn't the widget that Bloggs built for her project work any more? Where's the circuit diagram? I'll look up her thesis." "Blow's subroutine doesn't converge in my parameter space! I'll have to look up his thesis." "How did that group in Sydney manage to get that technique to work? I'll order a microfilm of that thesis they cited in their paper.") For important parts of apparatus, you should include workshop drawings, circuit diagrams and computer programs, usually as appendices. (By the way, the intelligible annotation of programs is about as frequent as porcine aviation, but it is far more desirable. You wrote that line of code for a reason: at the end of the line explain what the reason is.) You have probably read the theses of previous students in the lab where you are now working, so you probably know the advantages of a clearly explained, explicit thesis and/or the disadvantages of a vague one.



Make it clear what is yours

If you use a result, observation or generalisation that is not your own, you must usually state where in the scientific literature that result is reported. The only exceptions are cases where every researcher in the field already knows it: dynamics equations need not be followed by a citation of Newton, circuit analysis does not need a reference to Kirchoff. The importance of this practice in science is that it allows the reader to verify your starting position. Physics in particular is said to be a vertical science: results are built upon results which in turn are built upon results etc. Good referencing allows us to check the foundations of your additions to the structure of knowledge in the discipline, or at least to trace them back to a level which we judge to be reliable. Good referencing also tells the reader which parts of the thesis are descriptions of previous knowledge and which parts are your additions to that knowledge. In a thesis, written for the general reader who has little familiarity with the literature of the field, this should be especially clear. It may seem tempting to leave out a reference in the hope that a reader will think that a nice idea or an nice bit of analysis is yours. I advise against this gamble. The reader will probably think: "What a nice idea---I wonder if it's original?". The reader can probably find out via the net or the library.

If you are writing in the passive voice, you must be more careful about attribution than if you are writing in the active voice. "The sample was prepared by heating yttrium..." does not make it clear whether you did this or whether Acme Yttrium did it. "I prepared the sample..." is clear.



Style

The text must be clear. Good grammar and thoughtful writing will make the thesis easier to read. Scientific writing has to be a little formal---more formal than this text. Native English speakers should remember that scientific English is an international language. Slang and informal writing will be harder for a non-native speaker to understand.

Short, simple phrases and words are often better than long ones. Some politicians use "at this point in time" instead of "now" precisely because it takes longer to convey the same meaning. They do not care about elegance or efficient communication. You should. On the other hand, there will be times when you need a complicated sentence because the idea is complicated. If your primary statement requires several qualifications, each of these may need a subordinate clause: "When [qualification], and where [proviso], and if [condition] then [statement]". Some lengthy technical words will also be necessary in many theses, particularly in fields like biochemistry. Do not sacrifice accuracy for the sake of brevity. "Black is white" is simple and catchy. An advertising copy writer would love it. "Objects of very different albedo may be illuminated differently so as to produce similar reflected spectra" is longer and uses less common words, but, compared to the former example, it has the advantage of being true. The longer example would be fine in a physics thesis because English speaking physicists will not have trouble with the words. (A physicist who did not know all of those words would probably be glad to remedy the lacuna either from the context or by consulting a dictionary.)

Sometimes it is easier to present information and arguments as a series of numbered points, rather than as one or more long and awkward paragraphs. A list of points is usually easier to write. You should be careful not to use this presentation too much: your thesis must be a connected, convincing argument, not just a list of facts and observations.

One important stylistic choice is between the active voice and passive voice. The active voice ("I measured the frequency...") is simpler, and it makes clear what you did and what was done by others. The passive voice ("The frequency was measured...") makes it easier to write ungrammatical or awkward sentences. If you use the passive voice, be especially wary of dangling participles. For example, the sentence "After considering all of these possible materials, plutonium was selected" implicitly attributes consciousness to plutonium. This choice is a question of taste: I prefer the active because it is clearer, more logical and makes attribution simple. The only arguments I have ever heard for avoiding the active voice in a thesis are (i) many theses are written in the passive voice, and (ii) some very polite people find the use of "I" immodest. Use the first person singular, not plural, when reporting work that you did yourself: the editorial 'we' may suggest that you had help beyond that listed in your acknowledgments, or it may suggest that you are trying to share any blame. On the other hand, retain plural verbs for "data": "data" is the plural of "datum", and lots of scientists like to preserve the distinction. Just say to yourself "one datum is ..", "these data are.." several times. An excellent and widely used reference for English grammar and style is A Dictionary of Modern English Usage by H.W. Fowler.



Presentation

There is no need for a thesis to be a masterpiece of desk-top publishing. Your time can be more productively spent improving the content than the appearance.

In many cases, a reasonably neat diagram can be drawn by hand faster than with a graphics package, and you can scan it if you want an electronic version. Either is usually satisfactory. A one bit (i.e. black and white), moderate resolution scan of a hand-drawn sketch will be bigger than a line drawing generated on a graphics package, but not huge. While talking about the size of files, we should mention that photographs look pretty but take up a lot of memory. There's another important difference, too. The photographer thought about the camera angle and the focus etc. The person who drew the schematic diagram thought about what components ought to be depicted and the way in which the components of the system interacted with each other. So the numerically small information content of the line drawing may be much more useful information than that in a photograph.

Another note about figures and photographs. In the digital version of your thesis, do not save ordinary photographs or other illustrations as bitmaps, because these take up a lot of memory and are therefore very slow to transfer. Nearly all graphics packages allow you to save in compressed format as .jpg (for photos) or .gif (for diagrams) files. Further, you can save space/speed things up by reducing the number of colours. In vector graphics (as used for drawings), compression is usually unnecessary.

In general, students spend too much time on diagrams---time that could have been spent on examining the arguments, making the explanations clearer, thinking more about the significance and checking for errors in the algebra. The reason, of course, is that drawing is easier than thinking.

I do not think that there is a strong correlation (either way) between length and quality. There is no need to leave big gaps to make the thesis thicker. Readers will not appreciate large amounts of vague or unnecessary text.



Approaching the end

A deadline is very useful in some ways. You must hand in the thesis, even if you think that you need one more draft of that chapter, or someone else's comments on this section, or some other refinement. If you do not have a deadline, or if you are thinking about postponing it, please take note of this: A thesis is a very large work. It cannot be made perfect in a finite time. There will inevitably be things in it that you could have done better. There will be inevitably be some typos. Indeed, by some law related to Murphy's, you will discover one when you first flip open the bound copy. No matter how much you reflect and how many times you proof read it, there will be some things that could be improved. There is no point hoping that the examiners will not notice: many examiners feel obliged to find some examples of improvements (if not outright errors) just to show how thoroughly they have read it. So set yourself a deadline and stick to it. Make it as good as you can in that time, and then hand it in! (In retrospect, there was an advantage in writing a thesis in the days before word processors, spelling checkers and typing programs. Students often paid a typist to produce the final draft and could only afford to do that once.)



How many copies?

Talk to your adviser about this. As well as those for the examiners, the university libraries and yourself, you should make some distribution copies. These copies should be sent to other researchers who are working in your field so that:

* they can discover what marvellous work you have been doing before it appears in journals;
* they can look up the fine details of methods and results that will or have been published more briefly elsewhere;
* they can realise what an excellent researcher you are. This realisation could be useful if a post- doctoral position were available in their labs. soon after your submission, or if they were reviewers of your research/post-doctoral proposal. Even having your name in their bookcases might be an advantage.

Whatever the University's policy on single or double-sided copies, the distribution copies could be double-sided paper, or digital, so that forests and postage accounts are not excessively depleted by the exercise. Your adviser could help you to make up a list of interested and/or potentially useful people for such a mailing list. Your adviser might also help by funding the copies and postage if they are not covered by your scholarship. A CD with your thesis will be cheaper than a paper copy. You don't have to burn them all yourself: companies make multiple copies for several dollars a copy.

The following comment comes from Marilyn Ball of the Australian National University in Canberra: "When I finished writing my thesis, a postdoc wisely told me to give a copy to my parents. I would never have thought of doing that as I just couldn't imagine what they would do with it. I'm very glad to have taken that advice as my parents really appreciated receiving a copy and proudly displayed it for years. (My mother never finished high school and my father worked with trucks - he fixed 'em, built 'em, drove 'em, sold 'em and junked 'em. Nevertheless, they enjoyed having a copy of my thesis.)"



Personal

In the ideal situation, you will be able to spend a large part---perhaps a majority---of your time writing your thesis. This may be bad for your physical and mental health.



Typing

Set up your chair and computer properly. The Health Service, professional keyboard users or perhaps even the school safety officer will be able to supply charts showing recommended relative heights, healthy postures and also exercises that you should do if you spend a lot of time at the keyboard. These last are worthwhile insurance: you do not want the extra hassle of back or neck pain. Try to intersperse long sessions of typing with other tasks, such as reading, drawing, calculating, thinking or doing research.

If you do not touch type, you should learn to do so for the sake of your neck as well as for productivity. There are several good software packages that teach touch typing interactively. If you use one for say 30 minutes a day for a couple of weeks, you will be able to touch type. By the time you finish the thesis, you will be able to touch type quickly and accurately and your six hour investment will have paid for itself. Be careful not to use the typing exercises as a displacement activity.



Exercise

Do not give up exercise for the interim. Lack of exercise makes you feel bad, and you do not need anything else making you feel bad while writing a thesis. 30-60 minutes of exercise per day is probably not time lost from your thesis: I find that if I do not get regular exercise, I sleep less soundly and longer. How about walking to work and home again? (Walk part of the way if your home is distant.) Many people opine that a walk helps them think, or clears the head. You may find that an occasional stroll improves your productivity.



Food

Do not forget to eat, and make an effort to eat healthy food. You should not lose fitness or risk illness at this critical time. Exercise is good for keeping you appetite at a healthy level. I know that you have little time for cooking, but keep a supply of fresh fruit, vegetables and bread. It takes less time to make a sandwich than to go to the local fast food outlet, and you will feel better afterwards.



Drugs

Thesis writers have a long tradition of using coffee as a stimulant and alcohol or marijuana as relaxants. (Use of alcohol and coffee is legal, use of marijuana is not.) Used in moderation, they do not seem to have ill effects on the quality of thesis produced. Excesses, however, are obviously counter-productive: several espressi and you will be buzzing too much to sit down and work; several drinks at night will slow you down next day.



Others

Other people will be sympathetic, but do not take them for granted. Spouses, lovers, family and friends should not be undervalued. Spend some time with them and, when you do, have a good time. Do not spend your time together complaining about your thesis: they already resent the thesis because it is keeping you away from them. If you can find another student writing a thesis, then you may find it therapeutic to complain to each other about advisers and difficulties. S/he need not be in the same discipline as you are.





Coda

Keep going---you're nearly there! Most PhDs will admit that there were times when we thought about reasons for not finishing. But it would be crazy to give up at the writing stage, after years of work on the research, and it would be something to regret for a long time.

Writing a thesis is tough work. One anonymous post doctoral researcher told me: "You should tell everyone that it's going to be unpleasant, that it will mess up their lives, that they will have to give up their friends and their social lives for a while. It's a tough period for almost every student." She's right: it is certainly hard work, it will probably be stressful and you will have to adapt your rhythm to it. It is also an important rite of passage and the satisfaction you will feel afterwards is wonderful. On behalf of scholars everywhere, I wish you good luck!





A suggested thesis structure

The list of contents and chapter headings below is appropriate for some theses. In some cases, one or two of them may be irrelevant. Results and Discussion are usually combined in several chapters of a thesis. Think about the plan of chapters and decide what is best to report your work. Then make a list, in point form, of what will go in each chapter. Try to make this rather detailed, so that you end up with a list of points that corresponds to subsections or even to the paragraphs of your thesis. At this stage, think hard about the logic of the presentation: within chapters, it is often possible to present the ideas in different order, and not all arrangements will be equally easy to follow. If you make a plan of each chapter and section before you sit down to write, the result will probably be clearer and easier to read. It will also be easier to write.





Copyright waiver

Your institution may have a form for this (UNSW does). In any case, this standard page gives the university library the right to publish the work, possibly by microfilm or other medium. (At UNSW, the Postgraduate Student Office will give you a thesis pack with various guide-lines and rules about thesis format. Make sure that you consult that for its formal requirements, as well as this rather informal guide.)



Declaration

Check the wording required by your institution, and whether there is a standard form. Many universities require something like: "I hereby declare that this submission is my own work and that, to the best of my knowledge and belief, it contains no material previously published or written by another person nor material which to a substantial extent has been accepted for the award of any other degree or diploma of the university or other institute of higher learning, except where due acknowledgment has been made in the text. (signature/name/date)"



Title page

This may vary among institutions, but as an example: Title/author/"A thesis submitted for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in the Faculty of Science/The University of New South Wales"/date.



Abstract

Of all your thesis, this part will be the most widely published and most read because it will be published in Dissertation Abstracts International. It is best written towards the end, but not at the very last minute because you will probably need several drafts. It should be a distillation of the thesis: a concise description of the problem(s) addressed, your method of solving it/them, your results and conclusions. An abstract must be self-contained. Usually they do not contain references. When a reference is necessary, its details should be included in the text of the abstract. Check the word limit. Remember: even though it appears at the beginning, an abstract is not an introduction. It is a résumé of your thesis.



Acknowledgments

Most thesis authors put in a page of thanks to those who have helped them in matters scientific, and also indirectly by providing such essentials as food, education, genes, money, help, advice, friendship etc. If any of your work is collaborative, you should make it quite clear who did which sections.



Table of contents

The introduction starts on page 1, the earlier pages should have roman numerals. It helps to have the subheadings of each chapter, as well as the chapter titles. Remember that the thesis may be used as a reference in the lab, so it helps to be able to find things easily.



Introduction

What is the topic and why is it important? State the problem(s) as simply as you can. Remember that you have been working on this project for a few years, so you will be very close to it. Try to step back mentally and take a broader view of the problem. How does it fit into the broader world of your discipline?

Especially in the introduction, do not overestimate the reader's familiarity with your topic. You are writing for researchers in the general area, but not all of them need be specialists in your particular topic. It may help to imagine such a person---think of some researcher whom you might have met at a conference for your subject, but who was working in a different area. S/he is intelligent, has the same general background, but knows little of the literature or tricks that apply to your particular topic.

The introduction should be interesting. If you bore the reader here, then you are unlikely to revive his/her interest in the materials and methods section. For the first paragraph or two, tradition permits prose that is less dry than the scientific norm. If want to wax lyrical about your topic, here is the place to do it. Try to make the reader want to read the heavy bundle that has arrived uninvited on his/her desk. Go to the library and read several thesis introductions. Did any make you want to read on? Which ones were boring?

This section might go through several drafts to make it read well and logically, while keeping it short. For this section, I think that it is a good idea to ask someone who is not a specialist to read it and to comment. Is it an adequate introduction? Is it easy to follow? There is an argument for writing this section---or least making a major revision of it---towards the end of the thesis writing. Your introduction should tell where the thesis is going, and this may become clearer during the writing.



Literature review

Where did the problem come from? What is already known about this problem? What other methods have been tried to solve it?

Ideally, you will already have much of the hard work done, if you have been keeping up with the literature as you vowed to do three years ago, and if you have made notes about important papers over the years. If you have summarised those papers, then you have some good starting points for the review.

If you didn't keep your literature notes up to date, you can still do something useful: pass on the following advice to any beginning PhD students in your lab and tell them how useful this would have been to you. When you start reading about a topic, you should open a spread sheet file, or at least a word processor file, for your literature review. Of course you write down the title, authors, year, volume and pages. But you also write a summary (anything from a couple of sentences to a couple of pages, depending on the relevance). In other columns of the spread sheet, you can add key words (your own and theirs) and comments about its importance, relevance to you and its quality.

How many papers? How relevant do they have to be before you include them? Well, that is a matter of judgement. On the order of a hundred is reasonable, but it will depend on the field. You are the world expert on the (narrow) topic of your thesis: you must demonstrate this.

A political point: make sure that you do not omit relevant papers by researchers who are like to be your examiners, or by potential employers to whom you might be sending the thesis in the next year or two.




Middle chapters

In some theses, the middle chapters are the journal articles of which the student was major author. There are several disadvantages to this format.

One is that a thesis is both allowed and expected to have more detail than a journal article. For journal articles, one usually has to reduce the number of figures. In many cases, all of the interesting and relevant data can go in the thesis, and not just those which appeared in the journal. The degree of experimental detail is usually greater in a thesis. Relatively often a researcher requests a thesis in order to obtain more detail about how a study was performed.

Another disadvantage is that your journal articles may have some common material in the introduction and the "Materials and Methods" sections.

The exact structure in the middle chapters will vary among theses. In some theses, it is necessary to establish some theory, to describe the experimental techniques, then to report what was done on several different problems or different stages of the problem, and then finally to present a model or a new theory based on the new work. For such a thesis, the chapter headings might be: Theory, Materials and Methods, {first problem}, {second problem}, {third problem}, {proposed theory/model} and then the conclusion chapter. For other theses, it might be appropriate to discuss different techniques in different chapters, rather than to have a single Materials and Methods chapter.

Here follow some comments on the elements Materials and Methods, Theory, Results and discussion which may or may not correspond to thesis chapters.



Materials and Methods

This varies enormously from thesis to thesis, and may be absent in theoretical theses. It should be possible for a competent researcher to reproduce exactly what you have done by following your description. There is a good chance that this test will be applied: sometime after you have left, another researcher will want to do a similar experiment either with your gear, or on a new set-up in a foreign country. Please write for the benefit of that researcher.

In some theses, particularly multi-disciplinary or developmental ones, there may be more than one such chapter. In this case, the different disciplines should be indicated in the chapter titles.



Theory

When you are reporting theoretical work that is not original, you will usually need to include sufficient material to allow the reader to understand the arguments used and their physical bases. Sometimes you will be able to present the theory ab initio, but you should not reproduce two pages of algebra that the reader could find in a standard text. Do not include theory that you are not going to relate to the work you have done.

When writing this section, concentrate at least as much on the physical arguments as on the equations. What do the equations mean? What are the important cases?

When you are reporting your own theoretical work, you must include rather more detail, but you should consider moving lengthy derivations to appendices. Think too about the order and style of presentation: the order in which you did the work may not be the clearest presentation.

Suspense is not necessary in reporting science: you should tell the reader where you are going before you start.



Results and discussion

The results and discussion are very often combined in theses. This is sensible because of the length of a thesis: you may have several chapters of results and, if you wait till they are all presented before you begin discussion, the reader may have difficulty remembering what you are talking about. The division of Results and Discussion material into chapters is usually best done according to subject matter.

Make sure that you have described the conditions which obtained for each set of results. What was held constant? What were the other relevant parameters? Make sure too that you have used appropriate statistical analyses. Where applicable, show measurement errors and standard errors on the graphs. Use appropriate statistical tests.

Take care plotting graphs. The origin and intercepts are often important so, unless the ranges of your data make it impractical, the zeros of one or both scales should usually appear on the graph. You should show error bars on the data, unless the errors are very small. For single measurements, the bars should be your best estimate of the experimental errors in each coordinate. For multiple measurements these should include the standard error in the data. The errors in different data are often different, so, where this is the case, regressions and fits should be weighted (i.e. they should minimize the sum of squares of the differences weighted inversely as the size of the errors.) (A common failing in many simple software packages that draw graphs and do regressions is that they do not treat errors adequately. UNSW student Mike Johnston has written a plotting routine that plots data with error bars and performs weighted least square regressions. It is at http://www.phys.unsw.edu.au/3rdyearlab/graphing/graph.html). You can just 'paste' your data into the input and it generates a .ps file of the graph.

In most cases, your results need discussion. What do they mean? How do they fit into the existing body of knowledge? Are they consistent with current theories? Do they give new insights? Do they suggest new theories or mechanisms?

Try to distance yourself from your usual perspective and look at your work. Do not just ask yourself what it means in terms of the orthodoxy of your own research group, but also how other people in the field might see it. Does it have any implications that do not relate to the questions that you set out to answer?





Final chapter, references and appendices



Conclusions and suggestions for further work

Your abstract should include your conclusions in very brief form, because it must also include some other material. A summary of conclusions is usually longer than the final section of the abstract, and you have the space to be more explicit and more careful with qualifications. You might find it helpful to put your conclusions in point form.

It is often the case with scientific investigations that more questions than answers are produced. Does your work suggest any interesting further avenues? Are there ways in which your work could be improved by future workers? What are the practical implications of your work?

This chapter should usually be reasonably short---a few pages perhaps. As with the introduction, I think that it is a good idea to ask someone who is not a specialist to read this section and to comment.



References (See also under literature review)

It is tempting to omit the titles of the articles cited, and the university allows this, but think of all the times when you have seen a reference in a paper and gone to look it up only to find that it was not helpful after all.

Should you reference web sites and, if so, how? If you cite a journal article or book, the reader can go to a library and check that the cited document and check whether or not it says what you say it did. A web site may disappear, and it may have been updated or changed completely. So references to the web are usually less satisfactory. Nevertheless, there are some very useful and authoritative sources. So, if the rules of your institution permit it, it may be appropriate to cite web sites. (Be cautious, and don't overuse such citations. In particular, don't use a web citation where you could reasonably use a "hard" citation. Remember that your examiners are likely to be older and more conservative.) You should give the URL and also the date you downloaded it. If there is a date on the site itself (last updated on .....) you should included that, too.

Appendices

If there is material that should be in the thesis but which would break up the flow or bore the reader unbearably, include it as an appendix. Some things which are typically included in appendices are: important and original computer programs, data files that are too large to be represented simply in the results chapters, pictures or diagrams of results which are not important enough to keep in the main text.





Some sites with related material

Writing and publishing a scientific paper

How to survive a thesis defence

Research resources and links supplied by Deakin University

"Final year projects": a guide from Mike Hart at King Alfred's College, Winchester, UK

Postgraduate Student Resources supplied by University of Canberra

A useful aid to surviving meetings with management
The National Association of Graduate - Professional Students (USA)

Some relevant texts

Stevens, K. and Asmar, C (1999) 'Doing postgraduate research in Australia'. Melbourne University Press, Melbourne ISBN 0 522 84880 X.

Phillips, E.M and Pugh, D.S. (1994) 'How to get a PhD : a handbook for students and their supervisors'. Open University Press, Buckingham, England

Tufte, E.R. (1983) 'The visual display of quantitative information'. Graphics Press, Cheshire, Conn.
Tufte, E.R. (1990) 'Envisioning information' Graphics Press, Cheshire, Conn.

Distribution

If you have found these documents useful, please feel free to pass the address or a hard copy to any other thesis writers or graduate student organisations. Please do not sell them, or use any of the contents without acknowledgement.



Suggestions, thanks and caveats

This document will be updated occasionally. If you have suggestions for inclusions, amendments or other improvements, please send them. Do so after you have submitted the thesis---do not use this invitation as a displacement activity. I thank Marilyn Ball, Gary Bryant, Bill Whiten and J. Douglas, whose suggestions have been incorporated in this version. Substantial contributions will be acknowledged in future versions. I also take this opportunity to thank my own thesis advisers, Stjepan Marcelja and Jacob Israelachvili, for their help and friendship, and to thank the graduate students to whom I have had the pleasure to be an adviser, a colleague and a friend. Opinions expressed in these notes are mine and do not necessarily reflect the policy of the University of New South Wales or of the School of Physics.



A FAQ and some observations about the web

Why and how did I write this document? The need for it was evident so, as one of my PhD students approached the end of his project, I made notes of everything that I said to him about thesis writing. These notes became the plan for the first draft of this document, which has been extended several times since then. I am surprised that it has hundreds of readers each day. However, this is an important message about the web. It takes time and thought to make a good resource but, if you do, it can benefit a lot of people. When this document was first posted, the web was relatively new and feedback showed that people were often surprised to find what they sought. Now there is a tendency to take the web for granted: one is almost disappointed not to find what one is seeking. However, the web is only as good as the collective effort of all of us. The readers of this document will be scholars, experts and educators: among the many contributions you will make to knowledge and your communities, there may be contributions that should be made freely available, all over the world. Keep this observation about the web in the back of your mind for later, when you are not writing a thesis.