Memo To All Staff!

Clear-Day MEMO TO ALL STAFF

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy in

the US since last Christmas,

Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of

age, on early retirement.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the

SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been

RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW scheme (Scheme Covering

Retired Early Workers).







A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as

Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for

Dependents of spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).





Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED

any further by management.

Persons staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity

Training) as possible.

Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives

employees.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the

attention of your Supervisor.

They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,

The Management