Empat perkara menguatkan badan
1. Makan daging
2. Memakai haruman
3. Kerap mandi
4. Berpakaian dari kapas
Empat perkara melemahkan badan
1. Banyak berkelamin (bersetubuh)
2. Selalu cemas
3. Banyak minum air ketika makan
4. Banyak makan bahan yang masam
Empat perkara menajamkan mata
1. Duduk mengadap kiblat
2. Bercelak sebelum tidur
3. Memandang yang hijau
4. berpakaian bersih
Empat perkara merosakkan mata
1. Memandang najis
2. Melihat orang dibunuh
3. Melihat kemaluan
4. Membelakangi kiblat
Empat perkara menajamkan fikiran
1. Tidak banyak berbual kosong
2. Rajin bersugi (gosok gigi)
3. Bercakap dengan orang soleh
4. Bergaul dengan para ulama
Friday, February 25, 2011
JANGAN GUNAKAN PERKATAAN "SALAM"
بِسْــــمِ ﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ الرَّحِيم
اَلسَّلاَمُ عَ...لَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ
SIAPA YANG MENGGUNAKAN PERKATAAN "SALAM"? apakah maksud disebaliknya??
Maka berpalinglah (hai Muhammad) dari mereka dan katakanlah:"Salam (selamat tinggal)".
Kelak mereka akan mengetahui (nasib mereka yangburuk). (QS. 43:89)
baik gunakan,,,ASSALAMUALAIKUM atau ASSALAMUALAIKUM WARAHMATULLAH HIWABARAKATUH...
Ilmu utk dikongsi bersama. Sekadar peringatan untuk semua rakan-rakan muslim yang lain.
Pagi semalam saya dengar radio ikim (91.50 fm). Ustaz Zawawi ada cerita tentang sunnah Rasulallah s.a.w. Antara yang dibincangkannya ialah tentang bab cara memberi salam.
Menurut ustaz Zawawi Yusof, Baginda SAW memberi salam dengan lafaz“Assalamualaikum” dan menjawab salam dari para sahabat baginda dengan salam yang lengkap iaitu “Waalaikumussalam warahmatulallahhi wabarakatuh”
Ringkasnya, baginda SAW akan ;Beri salam dengan ucapan - “Assalamualaikum” dan…Jawab salam - “Waalaikumussalam warahmatulallahi wabarakatuh”
Lagi satu, perlu diingatkan juga semasa menjawab salam, saya dengar ramai orang jawab salam dengan ucapan yang tidak tepat. Jawab salam yang betul ialah ;
“WAALAI KUMUS SALAM”dan bukannya yang selalu saya dengar iaitu ;
“WAALAI KUM SALAM”
Apabila kita ingin berkirim salam pada orang lain, hendaklah kita berkata “Kirim salam, assalamualaikum pada ASHREE ye” contoh lerr… Dan bukannya : “Kirim salam kat ASHREE yer”..Dan jangan pula memandai-mandai tambah perkataan seperti ” Ko tolong kirim salam maut kat dia yer“. Statement ini walaupun dalam nada bergurau, tapi ia adalah menyalahi syariat dan berdosa, walaupun sekadar gurauan!
Selain itu, janganlah kita menggantikan perkataan “Assalamualaikum” dengan“A’kum” dalam sms atau apa sekalipun melalui tulisan. Jika perkataan “Assalamualaikum” itu panjang, maka hendaklah kita ganti dengan perkataan “As Salam” yang membawa maksud sama dengan “Assalamualaikum”.
Sesama lah kita memberitahu member-member yang selalu sangat guna shortform“A’kum” dalam sms ataupun email. Perkataan ‘AKUM‘ adalah gelaran untuk orang-orang Yahudi untuk orang-orang bukan yahudi yang bermaksud‘BINATANG‘ dalam Bahasa Ibrani.
Ia singkatan daripada perkataan ‘Avde Kokhavim U Mazzalot’ yang bermaksud ‘HAMBA-HAMBA BINATANG DAN ORANG-ORANG SESAT‘. Jadi, mulai sekarang jika ada orang hantar shortform “A’kum“, kita ingatkan dia guna “As Salam” kerana salam ialah dari perkataan “Assalamualaikum“.
* Jangan guna “Bye” kerana“Bye” adalah jarum sulit Kristian yang bermaksud “Di Bawah Naungan Pope.”
* Jangan guna “A’kum” kerana“A’kum” bermaksud “Binatang” dalam bahasa Yahudi.
* Jangan guna “Semekom” kerana“Semekom”bermaksud “Celaka Kamu.”Gunakan perkataan “ As Salam” sebagai singkatan bagi“Assalammualaikum.”
اَلسَّلاَمُ عَ...لَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ
SIAPA YANG MENGGUNAKAN PERKATAAN "SALAM"? apakah maksud disebaliknya??
Maka berpalinglah (hai Muhammad) dari mereka dan katakanlah:"Salam (selamat tinggal)".
Kelak mereka akan mengetahui (nasib mereka yangburuk). (QS. 43:89)
baik gunakan,,,ASSALAMUALAIKUM atau ASSALAMUALAIKUM WARAHMATULLAH HIWABARAKATUH...
Ilmu utk dikongsi bersama. Sekadar peringatan untuk semua rakan-rakan muslim yang lain.
Pagi semalam saya dengar radio ikim (91.50 fm). Ustaz Zawawi ada cerita tentang sunnah Rasulallah s.a.w. Antara yang dibincangkannya ialah tentang bab cara memberi salam.
Menurut ustaz Zawawi Yusof, Baginda SAW memberi salam dengan lafaz“Assalamualaikum” dan menjawab salam dari para sahabat baginda dengan salam yang lengkap iaitu “Waalaikumussalam warahmatulallahhi wabarakatuh”
Ringkasnya, baginda SAW akan ;Beri salam dengan ucapan - “Assalamualaikum” dan…Jawab salam - “Waalaikumussalam warahmatulallahi wabarakatuh”
Lagi satu, perlu diingatkan juga semasa menjawab salam, saya dengar ramai orang jawab salam dengan ucapan yang tidak tepat. Jawab salam yang betul ialah ;
“WAALAI KUMUS SALAM”dan bukannya yang selalu saya dengar iaitu ;
“WAALAI KUM SALAM”
Apabila kita ingin berkirim salam pada orang lain, hendaklah kita berkata “Kirim salam, assalamualaikum pada ASHREE ye” contoh lerr… Dan bukannya : “Kirim salam kat ASHREE yer”..Dan jangan pula memandai-mandai tambah perkataan seperti ” Ko tolong kirim salam maut kat dia yer“. Statement ini walaupun dalam nada bergurau, tapi ia adalah menyalahi syariat dan berdosa, walaupun sekadar gurauan!
Selain itu, janganlah kita menggantikan perkataan “Assalamualaikum” dengan“A’kum” dalam sms atau apa sekalipun melalui tulisan. Jika perkataan “Assalamualaikum” itu panjang, maka hendaklah kita ganti dengan perkataan “As Salam” yang membawa maksud sama dengan “Assalamualaikum”.
Sesama lah kita memberitahu member-member yang selalu sangat guna shortform“A’kum” dalam sms ataupun email. Perkataan ‘AKUM‘ adalah gelaran untuk orang-orang Yahudi untuk orang-orang bukan yahudi yang bermaksud‘BINATANG‘ dalam Bahasa Ibrani.
Ia singkatan daripada perkataan ‘Avde Kokhavim U Mazzalot’ yang bermaksud ‘HAMBA-HAMBA BINATANG DAN ORANG-ORANG SESAT‘. Jadi, mulai sekarang jika ada orang hantar shortform “A’kum“, kita ingatkan dia guna “As Salam” kerana salam ialah dari perkataan “Assalamualaikum“.
* Jangan guna “Bye” kerana“Bye” adalah jarum sulit Kristian yang bermaksud “Di Bawah Naungan Pope.”
* Jangan guna “A’kum” kerana“A’kum” bermaksud “Binatang” dalam bahasa Yahudi.
* Jangan guna “Semekom” kerana“Semekom”bermaksud “Celaka Kamu.”Gunakan perkataan “ As Salam” sebagai singkatan bagi“Assalammualaikum.”
solat atau sembahyang
Hampir kebanyakan umat Islam hari ini tidak terlepas daripada menggunakan istilah "Sembahyang" yang merujuk kepada "Solat." Tetapi pada hakikatnya, istilah "Sembahyang" mempunyai maksud atau pengertian yang terdapat unsur "Syirik."
Professor Hasbi As Siddiqi di dalam salah satu bukunya, membahas perkataan "Sembahyang." Katanya; "Sembahyang di ambil daripada perkataan "Sembah" dan "Hyang" yang merujuk kepada nama dewa - dewa yang disembah oleh penganut Agama Hindu dahulu kala. "Sembahyang" juga diertikan sebagai "menyembah berhala yang bernama Hyang."
Dua pakar Bahasa Indonesia, yang salah seorangnya pernah datang ke Malaysia, mengajar di Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM), iaitu Dr Daniel juga telah mengesahkan bahawa istilah "Sembahyang" merujuk kepada "menyembah dewa yang bernama Hyang."
Orang Buddha pergi ke Tokong, Orang Hindu pergi ke Kuil dan Orang Kristian pergi ke Gereja menggunakan istilah "Sembahyang," terserahlah kepada mereka, kerana memang terdapat unsur "Syirik" dalam ibadah mereka. Tetapi Umat Islam, Tidak sesuai sekiranya, "Solat" juga diistilahkan sebagai "Sembahyang", yang mana pada asalnya kata sembahyang itu merujuk kepada "menyembah dewa bernama Hyang."
Kalau boleh ubahlah ayat seperti seorang ibu mengarahkan anaknya bangun untuk menunaikan Solat Subuh. "nak, bangun!. pergi "Sembahyang Subuh," kepada "nak, bangun!. Pergi "Solat Subuh." Solat lebih tepat istilahnya
Mungkin sebahagian daripada kita, akan menganggap bahawa hal ini hanyalah hal yang remeh dan tidak begitu penting. Tetapi bagi mereka yang mempunyai kesedaran Agama dan memetingkan kualiti ibadah, akan sentiasa berhati-hati dan mengambil perhatian akan hal seperti ini.
wallahualam
Professor Hasbi As Siddiqi di dalam salah satu bukunya, membahas perkataan "Sembahyang." Katanya; "Sembahyang di ambil daripada perkataan "Sembah" dan "Hyang" yang merujuk kepada nama dewa - dewa yang disembah oleh penganut Agama Hindu dahulu kala. "Sembahyang" juga diertikan sebagai "menyembah berhala yang bernama Hyang."
Dua pakar Bahasa Indonesia, yang salah seorangnya pernah datang ke Malaysia, mengajar di Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM), iaitu Dr Daniel juga telah mengesahkan bahawa istilah "Sembahyang" merujuk kepada "menyembah dewa yang bernama Hyang."
Orang Buddha pergi ke Tokong, Orang Hindu pergi ke Kuil dan Orang Kristian pergi ke Gereja menggunakan istilah "Sembahyang," terserahlah kepada mereka, kerana memang terdapat unsur "Syirik" dalam ibadah mereka. Tetapi Umat Islam, Tidak sesuai sekiranya, "Solat" juga diistilahkan sebagai "Sembahyang", yang mana pada asalnya kata sembahyang itu merujuk kepada "menyembah dewa bernama Hyang."
Kalau boleh ubahlah ayat seperti seorang ibu mengarahkan anaknya bangun untuk menunaikan Solat Subuh. "nak, bangun!. pergi "Sembahyang Subuh," kepada "nak, bangun!. Pergi "Solat Subuh." Solat lebih tepat istilahnya
Mungkin sebahagian daripada kita, akan menganggap bahawa hal ini hanyalah hal yang remeh dan tidak begitu penting. Tetapi bagi mereka yang mempunyai kesedaran Agama dan memetingkan kualiti ibadah, akan sentiasa berhati-hati dan mengambil perhatian akan hal seperti ini.
wallahualam
TOP 5 IDIOTIC WAYS IN WHICH GIRLS FALL FOR GUYS in Indian Cinema!!
Ever wondered how an uneducated, local hero without a job, family or background is able to make rich, educated and decent heroine fall head over heels for him in Tamil movies? Some call it suspension of disbelief, while I prefer to call it absolute nonsense.
Find below the most nonsensical ways in which romance blossoms between the lead pair though they are from different extremes.
5. Hero purposely ignores the heroine who is actually the dream girl of the locality. The heroine is bugged by the ignorance of our useless hero and keeps talking about him when a useless friend of the heroine asks her if she loves him and the heroine would answer that she does not know and behold cupid starts working overtime.
Silliness rating - 3/5
4. Hero saves heroine from getting raped. Just because the hero saves the heroine doesn’t mean the heroine should fall in love with the hero who is jobless and uneducated. She would be well-off marrying one of the rowdies instead who at least have a source of income.
Silliness rating - 4/5
3. Heroine finds that our protagonist is an orphan and develops love for him. The hero would almost be 30 years. I don’t really justify falling in love with a 30 year old orphan out of pity.
Silliness rating - 4/5
2. Heroine assumes that hero is uneducated and insults him but during a crucial scenario the hero reveals that he can speak fluent English. At this point the heroine falls for him. I thought fluency in English might bag you a call center job at the most but never expected it would bag a rich beautiful girl.
Silliness rating - 5/5
1. The Hero gives the heroine a lecture about karpu and the importance of saree. Till then the heroine would be a modern girl with zero tolerance but the moment the hero slaps her and advises to be like a Tamil girl, she would immediately switch from modern dress to saree and fall in love.
Silliness rating - 5/5
With Tamil cinema moving to greener pastures under the able wings of directors like Shankar, Maniratnam, and Gautam it would be better if directors bid adieu to clichés as above and think of more subtle ways in handling love.
Find below the most nonsensical ways in which romance blossoms between the lead pair though they are from different extremes.
5. Hero purposely ignores the heroine who is actually the dream girl of the locality. The heroine is bugged by the ignorance of our useless hero and keeps talking about him when a useless friend of the heroine asks her if she loves him and the heroine would answer that she does not know and behold cupid starts working overtime.
Silliness rating - 3/5
4. Hero saves heroine from getting raped. Just because the hero saves the heroine doesn’t mean the heroine should fall in love with the hero who is jobless and uneducated. She would be well-off marrying one of the rowdies instead who at least have a source of income.
Silliness rating - 4/5
3. Heroine finds that our protagonist is an orphan and develops love for him. The hero would almost be 30 years. I don’t really justify falling in love with a 30 year old orphan out of pity.
Silliness rating - 4/5
2. Heroine assumes that hero is uneducated and insults him but during a crucial scenario the hero reveals that he can speak fluent English. At this point the heroine falls for him. I thought fluency in English might bag you a call center job at the most but never expected it would bag a rich beautiful girl.
Silliness rating - 5/5
1. The Hero gives the heroine a lecture about karpu and the importance of saree. Till then the heroine would be a modern girl with zero tolerance but the moment the hero slaps her and advises to be like a Tamil girl, she would immediately switch from modern dress to saree and fall in love.
Silliness rating - 5/5
With Tamil cinema moving to greener pastures under the able wings of directors like Shankar, Maniratnam, and Gautam it would be better if directors bid adieu to clichés as above and think of more subtle ways in handling love.
Beauty of Mathematics !!
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
Brilliant, isn't it?
And look at this symmetry:
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321
Now, take a look at this...
101%
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint
What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to
GIVE OVER 100%.
How about ACHIEVING 101%?
What equals 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help
answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
If:
H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K
8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%
And
K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E
11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%
But:
A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E
1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%
THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:
L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%
Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!
It's up to you if you share this with your friends & loved ones just
the way I did..
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
Brilliant, isn't it?
And look at this symmetry:
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321
Now, take a look at this...
101%
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint
What Equals 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to
GIVE OVER 100%.
How about ACHIEVING 101%?
What equals 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help
answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
If:
H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K
8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%
And
K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E
11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%
But:
A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E
1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%
THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:
L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%
Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!
It's up to you if you share this with your friends & loved ones just
the way I did..
Hukum berkahwin dan fadhilatnya
Menurut Saidina Abbas r.a, bahawa tidak sempurna ibadat seseorang kecuali apabila ia sudah berkahwin. Persoalannya adakah kahwin itu suatu ibadat?
Saidina Abbas lebih cenderung untuk meletakkan perkahwinan itu sendiri merupakan suatu ibadat, ataupun ia dikira sebagai suatu kesempurnaan bagi perlaksanaan ibadah.
Yang dimaksudkan oleh Saidina Abbas iaitu tidak tenang hati seorang hendak beribadat kepada Allah SWT kerana dorongan syahwat yang telah ditakdirkan kepada keturunan Adam, kecuali setelah ia berkahwin. Walaupun seseorang itu kuat melakukan ibadat, seorang tok lebai yang baik budi pekertinya dan berakhlak mulia, namun ia terpaksa mengakui keperluan yang telah ditakdirkan oleh Allah SWT dari segi nafsu syahwat, maka kedudukannya sebagai tok lebai itu belum boleh menjadi suatu jaminan melainkan ia kembali ke fitrahnya yang semula jadi itu untuk berkahwin.
Lebih-lebih lagi di zaman yang penuh pancaroba; buka jendela di pagi hari, sudah lihat perkara-perkara yang boleh mengoda perasaannya. Sedangkan di zaman Saidina Abbas r.a itu pun beliau telah merasakan tidak selamat tanpa berkahwin, betapa pula di zaman sekarang yang begitu banyak pendedahan perkara-perkara yang membangkitkan keinginan seseorang terhadap syahwat.
Oleh yang demikian perkahwinan menjadi suatu perkara yang sangat mustahak kerana ia akan menjadi perisai kepada keimanan.
Tidak sempurna suatu ibadat kecuali ia dilakukan dengan kelapangan hati. Kelapangan dan ketenangan hati akan lebih mudah dicapai setelah Seseorang itu menempuh perkahwinan. Jika seseorang itu memerlukan makan minum dan pakaian serta tempat tinggal bagi menjaga kepentingan fizikal, demikian juga nafsu syahwat yang Allah kurniakan itu juga memerlukan penyelesaian. Jika itu tidak dilakukan maka pastilah ketenangan hati sukar dicapai.
Pernah Saidina Abbas r.a menghimpunkan anak-anak lelakinya yang masing-masing telah remaja, lalu beliau berkata kepada anak-anak remajanya itu:
"Wahai anak-anakku, jika kamu semua telah mempunyai keinginan untuk berkahwin, maka beritahulah kepada ku, Insya
Allah aku akan berusaha untuk mengahwinkan kamu., Kerana apabila seseorang manusia telah melakukan zina maka ketika itu Allah SWT cabut iman mereka dari hatinya."
Keimanan adalah suatu hidayah kurniaan Allah SWT kepada hamba-Nya. Sekiranya iman itu telah dicabut lantaran hamba tersebut melakukan zina maka tidak mudah Ia hendak dibina kembali atau diperolehi semula. Kerana perbuatan zina itu adalah perbuatan orang yang fasik dan zalim yang tidak mendapat hidayah dari Allah SWT.
Demikian beberapa pendapat dan pandangan seorang sahabat Rasulullah SAW tentang perkahwinan dan keperluannya. Sesungguhnya banyak keterangan di dalam al-Quran tentang adab-adab nikah, dengan adanya ayat-ayat yang mendorong ke arah perkahwinan itu. Terdapat begitu banyak kisah para nabi-nabi yang menjelaskan kehidupan mereka bersama isteri-isteri serta mempunyai anak dan cucu.
Terdapat di dalam ungkapan dan doa para nabi yang bermohon kepada Allah SWT semoga Allah SWT mengurniakan kepada mereka anak-anak dan cucu sebagai seuatu yang menjadi tenang mata memandang (Qurrota Aaayun). Doa-doa tersebut membuktikan bahawa nabi-nabi atau orang yang soleh melakukan perkahwinan.
Rasulullah juga menjelaskan di dalam hadithnya yang bermaksudkan: "Sekiranya kamu mempunyai anak-anak perempuan yang sudah remaja, lalu datang seseorang yang datang meminang, jika kamu dapati laki-laki yang masuk meminang itu baik akhlaknya, agamanya dan sebagainya, maka segeralah kamu menikahkannya."
Hadith tersebut membayangkan ibu bapa mempunyai tanggungjawab untuk menikahkan anak-anak perempuan mereka yang remaja, kerana untuk menjaga kebajikan anak-anak remaja itu dan melindunginyadengan perkahwinan itu agar ia terselamat dan terjerumus ke lembah perzinaan yang membawa kepada keruntuhan akhlak dan iman.
Saidina Abbas lebih cenderung untuk meletakkan perkahwinan itu sendiri merupakan suatu ibadat, ataupun ia dikira sebagai suatu kesempurnaan bagi perlaksanaan ibadah.
Yang dimaksudkan oleh Saidina Abbas iaitu tidak tenang hati seorang hendak beribadat kepada Allah SWT kerana dorongan syahwat yang telah ditakdirkan kepada keturunan Adam, kecuali setelah ia berkahwin. Walaupun seseorang itu kuat melakukan ibadat, seorang tok lebai yang baik budi pekertinya dan berakhlak mulia, namun ia terpaksa mengakui keperluan yang telah ditakdirkan oleh Allah SWT dari segi nafsu syahwat, maka kedudukannya sebagai tok lebai itu belum boleh menjadi suatu jaminan melainkan ia kembali ke fitrahnya yang semula jadi itu untuk berkahwin.
Lebih-lebih lagi di zaman yang penuh pancaroba; buka jendela di pagi hari, sudah lihat perkara-perkara yang boleh mengoda perasaannya. Sedangkan di zaman Saidina Abbas r.a itu pun beliau telah merasakan tidak selamat tanpa berkahwin, betapa pula di zaman sekarang yang begitu banyak pendedahan perkara-perkara yang membangkitkan keinginan seseorang terhadap syahwat.
Oleh yang demikian perkahwinan menjadi suatu perkara yang sangat mustahak kerana ia akan menjadi perisai kepada keimanan.
Tidak sempurna suatu ibadat kecuali ia dilakukan dengan kelapangan hati. Kelapangan dan ketenangan hati akan lebih mudah dicapai setelah Seseorang itu menempuh perkahwinan. Jika seseorang itu memerlukan makan minum dan pakaian serta tempat tinggal bagi menjaga kepentingan fizikal, demikian juga nafsu syahwat yang Allah kurniakan itu juga memerlukan penyelesaian. Jika itu tidak dilakukan maka pastilah ketenangan hati sukar dicapai.
Pernah Saidina Abbas r.a menghimpunkan anak-anak lelakinya yang masing-masing telah remaja, lalu beliau berkata kepada anak-anak remajanya itu:
"Wahai anak-anakku, jika kamu semua telah mempunyai keinginan untuk berkahwin, maka beritahulah kepada ku, Insya
Allah aku akan berusaha untuk mengahwinkan kamu., Kerana apabila seseorang manusia telah melakukan zina maka ketika itu Allah SWT cabut iman mereka dari hatinya."
Keimanan adalah suatu hidayah kurniaan Allah SWT kepada hamba-Nya. Sekiranya iman itu telah dicabut lantaran hamba tersebut melakukan zina maka tidak mudah Ia hendak dibina kembali atau diperolehi semula. Kerana perbuatan zina itu adalah perbuatan orang yang fasik dan zalim yang tidak mendapat hidayah dari Allah SWT.
Demikian beberapa pendapat dan pandangan seorang sahabat Rasulullah SAW tentang perkahwinan dan keperluannya. Sesungguhnya banyak keterangan di dalam al-Quran tentang adab-adab nikah, dengan adanya ayat-ayat yang mendorong ke arah perkahwinan itu. Terdapat begitu banyak kisah para nabi-nabi yang menjelaskan kehidupan mereka bersama isteri-isteri serta mempunyai anak dan cucu.
Terdapat di dalam ungkapan dan doa para nabi yang bermohon kepada Allah SWT semoga Allah SWT mengurniakan kepada mereka anak-anak dan cucu sebagai seuatu yang menjadi tenang mata memandang (Qurrota Aaayun). Doa-doa tersebut membuktikan bahawa nabi-nabi atau orang yang soleh melakukan perkahwinan.
Rasulullah juga menjelaskan di dalam hadithnya yang bermaksudkan: "Sekiranya kamu mempunyai anak-anak perempuan yang sudah remaja, lalu datang seseorang yang datang meminang, jika kamu dapati laki-laki yang masuk meminang itu baik akhlaknya, agamanya dan sebagainya, maka segeralah kamu menikahkannya."
Hadith tersebut membayangkan ibu bapa mempunyai tanggungjawab untuk menikahkan anak-anak perempuan mereka yang remaja, kerana untuk menjaga kebajikan anak-anak remaja itu dan melindunginyadengan perkahwinan itu agar ia terselamat dan terjerumus ke lembah perzinaan yang membawa kepada keruntuhan akhlak dan iman.
Letters from a girl to her father ~ Especially those who totally believe in arranged marriage alone!
It’s a story of a Brahmin gal who loved a non-Brahmin and due to father’s compulsion married a Brahmin guy and leading a perfect life with little happiness!!
(Some tamil words included)…
Dearest Appa,
27th Jan’1965
Hope this letter finds you, Amma, Raji and Seenu in good health. The weather here in New York City is icy cold. But Avar sollraar- I have missed this winter’s biting cold. I still wish I had seen the snow… But then, I still wish I had not left Trichy at all. I do miss Trichy, Appa. You, Amma, Raji, Seenu, pakkatthaathu Rama, Vikatan,Ucchi Pillaiyaar Koil, filter coffee, Holy Cross College, the Maths Department and of course Sakthi. I know you wish I hadn’t brought his name in this letter.But not to worry Appa, I understand that you got me married to Visu because you thought it was best for your daughter.
I still remember Amma wiping her silent tears with her madisaar thalappu and you shouting at me the day I told you about Sakthi.Later, when the initial shock wore off you patiently listed umpteen reasons why I should not marry Sakthi. I agree Appa, that 20 is too young to decide, that Raji and Seenu would have been affected greatly by my ‘mistake’, the Agrahaaram would have scoffed at you… a meat eater was not a good match for someone who had never even tasted onion and garlic. The reasons were innumerous. I knew you’d still have objected and offered other reasons even if he had become a Dhigambara monk.
Visu on the other hand, wore a poonal, he is the son of Neelakanta Sastri, an Engineer and he researched about computers which is what made you jump for this alliance. Am not complaining Appa, Visu is a nice man. Tell Amma that I could not try her kozhakkattai recipe this Pongal because coconuts were too expensive and Avar nenacchar that it was ridiculous.
Anyway, we went out on Sankaranthi day and dined out. He thought it would be a good idea to invite the Chatterjees also. But I didn’t speak Bengali and Mrs.Chatterjee spoke English in an accent that comes with living years in America. Hence I made myself busy with the menu card. They ordered various species of fish,shrimp and a lot more of items I had never seen in my life. I ordered orange juice and a sandwich. The other diners thought it was queer coming to a seafood restaurant and settling for a sandwich. That day, I learnt that Avar prefer pannradhu beef, pork, bacon and seafood.
Do you know, Appa… Sakthi gave up meat because of me? I didn’t ask, he just did. But then, Sakthi is not Neelakanta Sastri’s son and that made it imposible for Subramania Iyer’s daughter Kalyani to marry him.I will keep you posted on what happens here. I don’t think I can make it to Seenu’s Upanayanam. Tell Amma not to get me a pattu podavai for the poonal, I don’t use them here. I wore it once and felt like a clown here.
Your loving daughter,
Kalyani.
Dearest Appa,
20th Oct’1968
We are fine here. Gautam is speaking his first words and I swear they sounded like ‘Dosai’. But Visu claims it’s just gibberish. From your previous letter, I gather that pakkathatthu Rama is married and
settled in Jamshedpur. Nice to know that. Please find out her address from Saarada maami and write it to me. I want to keep in touch with her. I hope Raji is happy with her husband in Madras. I spoke to her last month, great to know that she has a phone. Do tell Seenu to study well and prepare for his school final exams.
Raji also told me that Sakthi is married now. I wish him good luck, but I could not convey the message to him. Raji refused to be the messenger and I know you have severed ties with Sakthi’s father, your long term friend Sankaravel, thanks to me. I hear his wife is his cousin… He must have succumbed to his mother’s wishes.
How did Avani Avittam go? Visu’s mother gave me a bunch of new poonals for Avani Avittam but Visu was in Boston that day. He wouldn’t have used it anyway, I haven’t seen him wear one in the last three years. Gautam is now playing with the spool of thread- mere thread it is, what else can I call it? Gautam will not even know what it signifies, I guess.
Visu is making sure Gautam grows up listening to English only. He says it will make his life easier. But I do read out passages from Ponniyin Selvan and Bharathiyaar’s poetry when I am alone with him. It’s more of reading to myself, I guess. I actually got that poetry book as a present from Sakthi, it still has his scrawling signature in the first page.
By the way, Visu saw that book and asked me about Sakthi, I told him. Hold your breath Appa, he didn’t throw me out of the house. He is a good man, no question. He said it is okay and that he doesn’t mind. And then he told me of his American girlfriend whom he was once in love with, when he first reached America- Amy, a fellow Researcher who was in a brief relationship with Visu when she was in New York. They lived together for 3 months and decided against marriage, somehow. Amy once dropped home when she was in New York. Nice lady, she was.
Ask Amma to send me Sambar Podi for this whole year. My friend Sudha is coming to Madras next week. Ask Seenu to catch the Rockfort Express and give it to her. I will collect it from her here.
Your loving daughter,
Kalyani.
Dearest Appa,
3rd June’1974
We have arrived here safely. After two months in India, I find it hard to adjust back to normal life here. Gautam and Ranjana demand vadai,paayasam and vaazhai ilai here. Visu’s relieved to be back in
America. I left a set of my books there. If it’s not in Trichy it must be in Visu’s parents’ place. If you find them, safeguard them until my next trip. They mean a lot to me since they were gifts from Sakthi. By the way, Appa, I found out Sakthi’s present address in Madras from Rama and Saarada maami. I wrote to him. I am extremely proud to know that Dr.Sakthivel is a cardiologist much in demand there in Madras. He was thrilled to hear from me after so long. You know what he has named his daughters? Kalyani and Raagamaalika. He called me. You know what, he’s still a practising vegetarian, Appa. He didn’t revert back just because he lost me… He asked me if I still sang and whether Gautam and Ranjana could sing. I could see a proud father in him, when he claimed his daughters could sing upto Rara Venu Gopala. That’s when I remembered that I was once a good singer. I wonder why I stopped singing, wonder why I never exposed the kids to Music and Dance. But then, I realize that I had buried all that deep inside me when I left Trichy; after bidding farewell to my best Rasika, actually. Sakthi. After the call, I tried singing ’Kurai Onrum Illai’. I could not rquite reach Charanam, because of the lack of practice and more importantly because of the tears that filmed my eyes and the constriction in my throat. I sang to Visu and the kids one of these days. Though Gautam was impressed, father and daughter could not just wait for me to finish! By the way, next time some friend comes to India, send me a Sruthi Box. I would like to start singing again.
Your loving daughter,
Kalyani.
Dearest Appa,
14th Aug 1978
Just back after our tour to California. Find our photos, picture postcards attached herewith. After you are done with showing all family members,relatives, friends and neighbours, pass them to Visu’s parents. It was a welcome break for the four of us. But I missed my paattu class students all along and was happy to resume the classes again last evening. Did I mention in my previous letter, before we left on the tour - I finally got my driving license here. I sent a few photos to Sakthi too. He has sent me quite a few records and cassettes. I loved it! I’m reminded of AIR, almost! I’m circulating them among my friends too. And of course, playing them for my students too. They are picking up beautifully. Funny news is, I, a Tamilian, is teaching Telugu and Sanskrit kritis to a cross section of Tamil, Malayalam, Kannada,Telugu, Marathi, Bengali students in an English speaking nation. The music sessions have resulted in a reborn Kalyani, Appa. Thanks to Sakthi, really. I would have never taken it up had it not been for his reminder. I am now thinking of what life would have been like if I had indeed married him. I would have of course lost you and Amma. But right now, with this life in America, Visu and these monthly letters to you, Rama, Raji and Seenu what have i gained? I don’t find an answer, Appa. Neither do I think I ever will. Again, as I have always reiterated, Visu is a good man, no complaints there. He is every bit the son in law you wanted. Researcher, American Post-Graduate Degree holder, a dutiful husband and father,earning a comfortable income. I know it is too much to ask for anything else. That is a fantasy I left midway in my life… Once upon a time in Trichy with someone else.
Your loving daughter,
Kalyani.
Dearest Appa,
14th Apr’1984
Met Dr.Sakthivel after 19 years… He had come to New York for business purposes and paid me a visit. Visu and the kids welcomed him home with great pleasure. And they liked him too. Infact, they did most of the talking initially. And of course, he got me a whole load of books, cassettes, Mysore Paak and lots more. Your loving daughter,
Kalyani.
Dearest Appa,
20th Jan’ 1990
I just went through all these letters lying in my closet draw for years together. These are letters I started writing to you and then decided not to post. For obvious reasons. I could not mention Sakthi to you even though I was itching to. Not because I was afraid to invite your wrath. I just did not have the heart to hurt you, I know these letters would have hurt you. Because deep inside, I know you were disturbed- you knew Sakthi was a good man, you knew he was a man of substance, yet you didn’t want to go further. Society, I know. ..Family… I know… And all these letters would have only wounded you more.Today, 2 years after your death, and 6 months after Dr.Sakthivel’s untimely death in a road accident, I somehow felt like re-reading all these letters. To me, all these unstamped, unposted letters mean a life that could have been.
Kalyani Viswanathan.
(Some tamil words included)…
Dearest Appa,
27th Jan’1965
Hope this letter finds you, Amma, Raji and Seenu in good health. The weather here in New York City is icy cold. But Avar sollraar- I have missed this winter’s biting cold. I still wish I had seen the snow… But then, I still wish I had not left Trichy at all. I do miss Trichy, Appa. You, Amma, Raji, Seenu, pakkatthaathu Rama, Vikatan,Ucchi Pillaiyaar Koil, filter coffee, Holy Cross College, the Maths Department and of course Sakthi. I know you wish I hadn’t brought his name in this letter.But not to worry Appa, I understand that you got me married to Visu because you thought it was best for your daughter.
I still remember Amma wiping her silent tears with her madisaar thalappu and you shouting at me the day I told you about Sakthi.Later, when the initial shock wore off you patiently listed umpteen reasons why I should not marry Sakthi. I agree Appa, that 20 is too young to decide, that Raji and Seenu would have been affected greatly by my ‘mistake’, the Agrahaaram would have scoffed at you… a meat eater was not a good match for someone who had never even tasted onion and garlic. The reasons were innumerous. I knew you’d still have objected and offered other reasons even if he had become a Dhigambara monk.
Visu on the other hand, wore a poonal, he is the son of Neelakanta Sastri, an Engineer and he researched about computers which is what made you jump for this alliance. Am not complaining Appa, Visu is a nice man. Tell Amma that I could not try her kozhakkattai recipe this Pongal because coconuts were too expensive and Avar nenacchar that it was ridiculous.
Anyway, we went out on Sankaranthi day and dined out. He thought it would be a good idea to invite the Chatterjees also. But I didn’t speak Bengali and Mrs.Chatterjee spoke English in an accent that comes with living years in America. Hence I made myself busy with the menu card. They ordered various species of fish,shrimp and a lot more of items I had never seen in my life. I ordered orange juice and a sandwich. The other diners thought it was queer coming to a seafood restaurant and settling for a sandwich. That day, I learnt that Avar prefer pannradhu beef, pork, bacon and seafood.
Do you know, Appa… Sakthi gave up meat because of me? I didn’t ask, he just did. But then, Sakthi is not Neelakanta Sastri’s son and that made it imposible for Subramania Iyer’s daughter Kalyani to marry him.I will keep you posted on what happens here. I don’t think I can make it to Seenu’s Upanayanam. Tell Amma not to get me a pattu podavai for the poonal, I don’t use them here. I wore it once and felt like a clown here.
Your loving daughter,
Kalyani.
Dearest Appa,
20th Oct’1968
We are fine here. Gautam is speaking his first words and I swear they sounded like ‘Dosai’. But Visu claims it’s just gibberish. From your previous letter, I gather that pakkathatthu Rama is married and
settled in Jamshedpur. Nice to know that. Please find out her address from Saarada maami and write it to me. I want to keep in touch with her. I hope Raji is happy with her husband in Madras. I spoke to her last month, great to know that she has a phone. Do tell Seenu to study well and prepare for his school final exams.
Raji also told me that Sakthi is married now. I wish him good luck, but I could not convey the message to him. Raji refused to be the messenger and I know you have severed ties with Sakthi’s father, your long term friend Sankaravel, thanks to me. I hear his wife is his cousin… He must have succumbed to his mother’s wishes.
How did Avani Avittam go? Visu’s mother gave me a bunch of new poonals for Avani Avittam but Visu was in Boston that day. He wouldn’t have used it anyway, I haven’t seen him wear one in the last three years. Gautam is now playing with the spool of thread- mere thread it is, what else can I call it? Gautam will not even know what it signifies, I guess.
Visu is making sure Gautam grows up listening to English only. He says it will make his life easier. But I do read out passages from Ponniyin Selvan and Bharathiyaar’s poetry when I am alone with him. It’s more of reading to myself, I guess. I actually got that poetry book as a present from Sakthi, it still has his scrawling signature in the first page.
By the way, Visu saw that book and asked me about Sakthi, I told him. Hold your breath Appa, he didn’t throw me out of the house. He is a good man, no question. He said it is okay and that he doesn’t mind. And then he told me of his American girlfriend whom he was once in love with, when he first reached America- Amy, a fellow Researcher who was in a brief relationship with Visu when she was in New York. They lived together for 3 months and decided against marriage, somehow. Amy once dropped home when she was in New York. Nice lady, she was.
Ask Amma to send me Sambar Podi for this whole year. My friend Sudha is coming to Madras next week. Ask Seenu to catch the Rockfort Express and give it to her. I will collect it from her here.
Your loving daughter,
Kalyani.
Dearest Appa,
3rd June’1974
We have arrived here safely. After two months in India, I find it hard to adjust back to normal life here. Gautam and Ranjana demand vadai,paayasam and vaazhai ilai here. Visu’s relieved to be back in
America. I left a set of my books there. If it’s not in Trichy it must be in Visu’s parents’ place. If you find them, safeguard them until my next trip. They mean a lot to me since they were gifts from Sakthi. By the way, Appa, I found out Sakthi’s present address in Madras from Rama and Saarada maami. I wrote to him. I am extremely proud to know that Dr.Sakthivel is a cardiologist much in demand there in Madras. He was thrilled to hear from me after so long. You know what he has named his daughters? Kalyani and Raagamaalika. He called me. You know what, he’s still a practising vegetarian, Appa. He didn’t revert back just because he lost me… He asked me if I still sang and whether Gautam and Ranjana could sing. I could see a proud father in him, when he claimed his daughters could sing upto Rara Venu Gopala. That’s when I remembered that I was once a good singer. I wonder why I stopped singing, wonder why I never exposed the kids to Music and Dance. But then, I realize that I had buried all that deep inside me when I left Trichy; after bidding farewell to my best Rasika, actually. Sakthi. After the call, I tried singing ’Kurai Onrum Illai’. I could not rquite reach Charanam, because of the lack of practice and more importantly because of the tears that filmed my eyes and the constriction in my throat. I sang to Visu and the kids one of these days. Though Gautam was impressed, father and daughter could not just wait for me to finish! By the way, next time some friend comes to India, send me a Sruthi Box. I would like to start singing again.
Your loving daughter,
Kalyani.
Dearest Appa,
14th Aug 1978
Just back after our tour to California. Find our photos, picture postcards attached herewith. After you are done with showing all family members,relatives, friends and neighbours, pass them to Visu’s parents. It was a welcome break for the four of us. But I missed my paattu class students all along and was happy to resume the classes again last evening. Did I mention in my previous letter, before we left on the tour - I finally got my driving license here. I sent a few photos to Sakthi too. He has sent me quite a few records and cassettes. I loved it! I’m reminded of AIR, almost! I’m circulating them among my friends too. And of course, playing them for my students too. They are picking up beautifully. Funny news is, I, a Tamilian, is teaching Telugu and Sanskrit kritis to a cross section of Tamil, Malayalam, Kannada,Telugu, Marathi, Bengali students in an English speaking nation. The music sessions have resulted in a reborn Kalyani, Appa. Thanks to Sakthi, really. I would have never taken it up had it not been for his reminder. I am now thinking of what life would have been like if I had indeed married him. I would have of course lost you and Amma. But right now, with this life in America, Visu and these monthly letters to you, Rama, Raji and Seenu what have i gained? I don’t find an answer, Appa. Neither do I think I ever will. Again, as I have always reiterated, Visu is a good man, no complaints there. He is every bit the son in law you wanted. Researcher, American Post-Graduate Degree holder, a dutiful husband and father,earning a comfortable income. I know it is too much to ask for anything else. That is a fantasy I left midway in my life… Once upon a time in Trichy with someone else.
Your loving daughter,
Kalyani.
Dearest Appa,
14th Apr’1984
Met Dr.Sakthivel after 19 years… He had come to New York for business purposes and paid me a visit. Visu and the kids welcomed him home with great pleasure. And they liked him too. Infact, they did most of the talking initially. And of course, he got me a whole load of books, cassettes, Mysore Paak and lots more. Your loving daughter,
Kalyani.
Dearest Appa,
20th Jan’ 1990
I just went through all these letters lying in my closet draw for years together. These are letters I started writing to you and then decided not to post. For obvious reasons. I could not mention Sakthi to you even though I was itching to. Not because I was afraid to invite your wrath. I just did not have the heart to hurt you, I know these letters would have hurt you. Because deep inside, I know you were disturbed- you knew Sakthi was a good man, you knew he was a man of substance, yet you didn’t want to go further. Society, I know. ..Family… I know… And all these letters would have only wounded you more.Today, 2 years after your death, and 6 months after Dr.Sakthivel’s untimely death in a road accident, I somehow felt like re-reading all these letters. To me, all these unstamped, unposted letters mean a life that could have been.
Kalyani Viswanathan.
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